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“She didn’t make it past the first month…” Ian finally turned his gaze back to me, able to look me in the eye again. “And she was devastated. She started to resent me because she assumed I asked the gods for this to happen, when I would never do such a thing. Her depression deepened. She pulled away from me. This went on for months. I started to resent her, because before she became pregnant, our lives were perfect. It was shattered because she let her emotion cloud her judgment. So, at my lowest point, I did something I shouldn’t have…”
My judgment faded once I realized the emotional intensity of the situation. “She caught you?”
“I told her—and it was the final nail in the coffin.”
“Why did you do it?”
“When you go months without your wife even looking at you…it’s nice to feel wanted. And a lot of women want me, all the time. There’ve always been offers left and right when she’s not around, but I’ve never cared. I guess a part of me hoped it would make her realize how far apart we would drift if she didn’t let me in again…and that she might lose me. But it had the opposite consequence.”
I couldn’t verbalize my pity. I couldn’t comfort his sadness. It was one of those rare times when I had no idea what to say. It was a lot to digest. “I wish you had confided in me when this was happening.”
“I didn’t want to talk about it.”
“I could have helped you.”
“You don’t understand how delirious Avice was. No one could help her.” He looked away again. “And to make matters worse…” There was a pause, a heavy one, a shine in his eyes that was quickly blinked away. “My daughter hates me.” He forced his voice to remain steady, to mask the crack that wanted to escape. “She knows what I did and wants nothing to do with me.”
The pain transferred from his body to mine, a burn that consumed my veins, flesh, and bones. It was every parent’s worst nightmare, to dedicate your life to your child, only to watch them despise you. “Avice shouldn’t have told her that.”
“She overheard us talking.” His gaze was glued to a spot on the window, like focusing on a single point was all he could do to keep his composure. “I haven’t been with anyone else since, even though she’s made it clear we’re no longer together and I’m free to do what I want.”
“Have you been pursuing her?”
“I gave up on that.”
“Ian, you can’t give up—”
“Don’t oversimplify something complicated.”
“I’m not. But you have no other choice but to try…if you want to stay married.”
Ian grabbed his mug and took a drink, finishing the contents and shaking it until every last drop was in his mouth.
“I’ll talk to her.”
“Good luck with that.”
Now I wished Ivory were with me, because she was much better at this sort of thing. Or Harlow. She was exceptional at this stuff.
“I’ve always been the lesser brother…in every way imaginable.”
“That’s not true, Ian.”
“This wouldn’t happen with you.”
“I admit I wouldn’t have fucked someone else, but this situation could have easily happened to me. Ivory and I have been through our fair share of marital strain. It wasn’t easy, but we got through it. If you still love her—”
“Of course I still fucking love her,” he snapped. “My life was perfect until this shit happened. Lila and I were close. And then the fucking gods decided to smite me. Now I don’t have a family.”
“Ian.” I looked him dead in the eye. “You always have a family.”
He looked away. “It’s not the same thing.”
“We’re blood. My children are your blood. And your daughter will always be your blood.”
He continued to look out the window.
“I’ll talk to her.”
