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Fucking hell, she somehow gets prettier every time I see her up close.
She glances back toward the ocean when I join her. “It is.”
“I meant you.”
The fire crackles.
Lily inspects me as she always does. Her stare snags on my open button-down for a curious second.
“It looks like something’s wrong with your shirt.”
“Don’t pretend you don’t prefer it this way.”
She waves me off. “You’re so full of yourself.”
“Youloveit.” I give her shoulder a soft nudge.
“Debatable, but just so you know, egoisthe enemy of love.” Beneath her long, thick lashes is a scattering of faint freckles.
I laugh off her jab. “If there’s one thing you do best, Lily, it’s outwit my wit. What are you pondering out here, all by yourself?”
“I don’t know. Love’s in the air.” She gently shrugs. “And we’re always where we are, standing on our own.”
“We’re not alone right now.”
“I suppose not.” Lily tilts her head. “You do have Renée waiting upstairs.”
Does she really think I’d crawl into bed with an unconscious person?I’m not some fucking jerk.“She’s about a ten-hour nap and two bottles of Pedialyte away from being able to consent to company, let alone anything else.”
“Not what I meant, Nico.” She rolls her eyes with a heavy sigh. “Have you ever thought about settling down? For real? Not just collecting memories with strangers that turn out to be nothing?”
I kick a loose pebble. “No, I haven’t.”
“I don’t know why I asked.”
The way her lips drag slightly at the edges makes me want to take my response back.
But it’s the truth.
The idea of someone else relying on me makes every hair on my body pin straight. “Truthfully, I don’t think I’ll ever have something like my brother and parents do. I’m not cut from the same cloth, y’know? They all talk of compromise like it’s some kind of otherworldly experience, but to me, it’s like surrendering myself.”
Lily nods because she understands better than anyone. “And that’s why I like you, Nico—”
“You like me, huh?”
That earns me a push with her shoulder. “It’s because you’re honest with what you want and what you can or can’t have.”
If I were being honest, I’d tell her how much I want her and how annoyed I am that I can’t have her.
“Reminds me, have you decided if you’re ready to take a risk this summer?”
Lily blinks at me. “What risk?”
“Extra plane ticket. Brazil. The summer of your life.”
Sure, it’s a long shot that she’d ever agree to go with me, and maybe exchanging my first class ticket for two economy seats on a whim after visiting her at the Mademoiselle wasn’t my best idea, but it’s obvious Lily needs a break.
She settles her hands on her waist. “I already told you I can’t go with you.”
