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I frown at the empty water bottle in my hand, but he doesn’t notice. “Mhmm.”
Nico wipes the strands of damp hair from his eyes. “You’ve got to have a passion. Is there anything that really speaks to you? Something that gets you in a flow state?”
“Flow state?” I tilt my head.
“Yeah, like when you’re entirely absorbed by a task or project, and it’s as if your mind and body are suddenly fluid. The world melts away, and time goes with it. It’s you and the one thing that makes you happy.”
Writing.The answer comes to mind immediately. Followed by the bittersweet stain of my secret on my mind. But writing is exactly what makes me feel how Nico described. When I’m at my keyboard, lost between pages of my imagination, it’s effervescent and all-consuming. Sometimes even better than sex.
“I enjoy my literature classes.” I manage to keep my answer vague.
“Why?” He crosses his ankle over his knee and turns his shoulders to me.
“I guess, the feeling of being ripped out of reality and transported somewhere new. Learning about other people’s experiences, feelings, hurt, and happiness through different eyes.”
Nico nods, placing the reassuring weight of his hand on my thigh, and I let him. “Sounds like you should major in English.”
“I don’t know, I could’ve finished my English lit degree, but failed a creative writing class last semester, which made me three credits short of graduation. Anyway, a business degree is more practical.”
“Failing a class? Not very Professor Lily of you.”
I send my shoulder into his chest, and Nico tumbles back, feigning hurt. “Don’t kick me while I’m down,” I say.
He laughs off the bump. “Alright, alright.”
“I’ll be honest, the whole college thing feels like it’s never-ending sometimes.”
“Doing something you love shouldn’t feel draining.”
Maybe. Or perhaps life isn’t always a walk in the park. “Sometimes, we have to do things we don’t like.”
“Sure, but everyone needs a little pleasure in their life.” Nico winks. “Or a lot of pleasure, in our case.”
My chest swells at the tenderness in his voice. I’ve never been able to talk to anyone else about this and feel understood. My friends and family all graduated college. My own parents assumed once I met Chuck that my life would piece itself together and I would become the perfect housewife. College was a supporting role in the future they thought I’d make for myself, not the lead. Unlike my older sister, Kira, with her PhD program, or my younger sister, Dara, with her gymnastics scholarship.
Even my best friend set her mind on one passion and pursued it until she became an executive at the company she’s admired all her life.
“I guess you’re right.”
“I love it when you say that. So, it’s settled.” Nico stands and extends his hand to me, almost in a courtly bow. “You’re staying for the rest of the summer,princesa.”
“Not this again.”
He smirks. “You need a goal, you said so yourself. Maybe taking a step back from what you think you should be doing and considering what would make you happy can be that goal.”
I suppose itcouldbe a goal, even if it’s not one I can measure right now.
I’ve never truly given myself time before.
TheCoastal Flingreleasehaspadded my bank account, and with Nico being so generous during our trip, spending a little bit more time figuring out my next steps may not be the worst thing.
“Fine.” I weave my fingers into his outstretched hand and pull myself up. “Maybe, I’ll think about it.”
What’s the worst that could happen?
Chapter14
Nico
