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I know it was a terrible excuse for an apology, but I appreciate him giving me space and making sure I’m fed. It’s the least he can do.
I scroll through the flights on my laptop again.
Come on, universe. I’ll even fly into Newark.
Chapter16
Nico
“How could you do this?”My brother’s voice screeches like a hyena through my headphones.
I lower the volume and pocket my phone.
It’s a good sign that Lily hasn’t left yet. Maybe there’s hope I can rectify the disaster I caused yesterday.
“Hello to you too, Luca.” I wade nervously around the kitchen, watching the water boil for Lily’s apology tea.
“No ‘hello to you, Luca.’ What the hell, Nico? You abandoned Lily yesterday.”
Since we were little, we’ve had a perfectly functioning ecosystem. Luca, the doting older brother who needs to be in control of every minute of every day, and me, the apparent wild child who has no idea how to take care of himself.
He loves telling me what to do, and I love ignoring him.
Synergy.
But right now, our harmony isn’t working in my favor.
“How do you—”
“My wife is her best friend. You don’t think they were up half the night complaining about you?”
The tightness in my chest constricts once again.
“I didn’t do it on purpose; something came up.” Marcelo needed help moving a couch and I was already there, I figured it would only take a couple of minutes, but then it was suddenly 5:00pm.
Honestly, I should’ve let her know as soon as he asked me, but I’ve never had to keep anyone appraised of my plans.
I’m not used to having someone rely on me.
Guilt steeps heavily through my bones. I really hate that I disappointed Lily and let time slip away from me. Especially when I’ve agonized over how to be around her more often. It was a colossal fuck up.
I don’t know what I was thinking. Actually, I wasn’t fucking thinking at all. That’s the problem. I messed up with Lily the way I would with my casual dates or acquaintances. But I don’t want to becasualwith Lily. I can’t keep treating her like anyone else.
She means more to me.
“I knew that both of you doing anything together would turn into a disaster.” Luca sighs. “You don’t consider how your actions affect others. You’ve done it to me the entire time we were growing up. It’s always your priorities before others.”
My brother’s always been blunt, but the weight of truth in his words hurts.
Though when I was working on Flight Falcon, I looked out for my cofounder all the time. “Not fair, dude. I traveled with Keith for well over a year and we managed to not have issues like this.”
My brother clicks his tongue. “It’s not the same thing. Keith is like you. Or, at the very least, he’s patient. Lily, on the other hand, has never been out of the country, nor has she traveled on her own. You can’t just ditch her.”
“I thought she’d be okay. She’s been navigating Rio alone while I’m in class,” I say, trying to convince myself of this more than my brother, but the excuse seems flimsy. I never want to make Lily feel unsafe. “I let her know I couldn’t make it.” Even if it was an hour late, but I always lose track of time. “Besides, Lily said herself she was fine with my go-with-the-flow attitude.”
She also mentioned that she functions better with plans and goals, but wasn’t the entire conversation we had on the hike supposed to encourage her to try something new, to be more flexible?
I pull the whistling kettle off the stovetop and pour boiling water into Lily’s mug of apology tea.
