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The idea there’s something Lily hasn’t done before makes me eager to conquer afirst with her.
“It’s not easy exploring your sexuality with casual hookups. A lot of the time, if men find out I want to fuck, especially if I want to fuck rough, they become violent. Eager to call me a whore like they truly believe that’s what I am.” Lily frowns.
“Throw in the ask for playing out a degradation fantasy, and it’s as if they’ve been waiting their entire life to strip a woman from her personhoodinsteadof welcoming her into their care.”
Fucking hell.My teeth gnaw at the inside of my cheek until the bright taste of metal hits my tongue.
“I hate that anyone could have so little respect for you.”
I want her to show me every fucker who’s ever treated her as anything less than divine.
“It’s fine.” Lily smiles, scrambling for her phone in her bag.
“No, it’s not fi—”
“Look at this video I took of you.” She hits play quickly, running away from the serious conversation the way she always does.
I can’t focus on the video. The reality that someone’s hurt Lily in any way and she’s simplyfinewith it makes it feel like the earth’s shattering beneath me. In thefriendliestway possible.
“Nico.” Her elbow nudges me, and I force an inhale, glancing down at the clip.
“Cool.” I grit my teeth, but Lily’s eyes roll at my lackluster response.
“Yeah, watching you eat a mouthful of sandiscool.” Her laugh is as light as ever, loud enough to wake the familiar warmth in me when I hear it, but it doesn’t brighten my mood as fast as it normally does.
I shake out my body, trying to dispel the rage worming its way around my veins. The idea of anyone ever thinking of someone in such an awful way makes me sick. Especially when that someone ismine.
Lily. I mean Lily.Notwhat’s mine.
I need to get it together.
If she’s fine with her past, I’ll have to be too. But while it’s up to me, no one will ever treat her like that again.
She plays another video clip. I look great for ten seconds, and a giant wave swallows me. I can’t help but grin. “Can I post it?”
I don’t care too much about social media, but my parents and brother constantly hound me to stay active online so they can keep track of me.
“Sure, I’ll send it to you.” Lily clicks through her screen, but I grab her phone and pull it out of reach. A shadow of agitation crosses her face. “What are you doing?”
“Come on, you know I leave my phone in the lockers during class.” I navigate through the buttons. “Let me log in to my account now and upload it. I’ll forget otherwise.”
“You’re going to log in on my phone?” Her brow quirks up.
“Yes, what’s the issue?”
Lily attempts to grab her cell again. I hop off the lounger, knocking my head against the umbrella. “Give it back. I don’t want to see DMs from your hookups.”
“There’s nothing to see.”
“Sure.”
I may not know much about Lily’s only serious relationship, but her ex-boyfriend must’ve done a number on her if she expects there to be threads of messages on my account.Afterwe agreed to not see other people for the summer.
It may take her time to fully trust me, but I’m learning to be a patient man. I have around two months to prove to her that I’m not like anyone she’s been with in the past.
Especially when she isn’t like anyone I’ve known before either.
Lily is bold, so fucking smart and witty, and she can always make me laugh. Simply being around her makes me feel better, and when I’m not with her, I actually feel alone. A feeling I’m unfamiliar with.
