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Carmen shook her head at me.
“Nope, it wasn’t working. I guess I’ll have to start setting out cookies. I’ll hand them to anyone who asks nicely. Let me know if you find someone like that.”
The guy actually cracked a smile. “Okay, fair enough. I’ll go find that guy and bring him back here.” He walked off, looking back several times even after he sat down, probably to see if I was ever going to get that moment, and definitely to see if I’d made any progress on getting the cookies out. I’d do my best with both.
Chapter 31 - Carmen
I did not need to be this nervous. And yet, my palms were sweaty even though my hands were cold, and my heart was racing like the lights going past us in a blur, reflected in the van windows. I rubbed the alligator on my sweater from tip to tail. Winnie had been right. It did make this sweater more interesting.
Isaac and I had been sitting in silence for a long time. He didn’t seem to mind. He was in driving mode, cruising along in the almost-empty fifteen-passenger van and probably enjoying the quiet now that it was just us, and Uncle G wasn’t making dumb song requests or pulling contraband cookies out of his coat pockets and passing them around. I’d have to vacuum all the crumbs out tomorrow. Má had enough to do.
“You okay?” Isaac asked.
No, I was certainly not okay, but the one person best equipped to give me comfort was the reason I was so nervous in the first place.
“Just tired,” I said. I pulled up my group thread with Kimber and Ally, needing someone to talk me through this. They already knew I was an idiot when it came to Isaac. Plus, Kimber’s phone was never more than three feet from her body.
Carmen: Guys. I’ve changed my mind. I want to pursue Isaac.
Kimber: Odds are good you’ll catch him. I don’t think he’ll run very far.
Such a Kimber response. Immediate and full of snark.
Carmen: Thanks a lot.
Kimber: Get it, girl.
Kimber: In all seriousness, I think this is the best decision you’ve ever made. Except for that red Prom dress senior year. You looked killer in that.
Carmen: Too bad I had to go stag.
Ally: That’s because guys are stupid. Except yours. Take that luck and run with it.
They were right, of course. This was the best kind of nervous to feel. I needed to stop waiting for the sky to fall on me and look forward with anticipation instead of fear.
Carmen: Thanks, ladies. I’m gonna go now.
Kimber: Oh, was this like a pep talk? Are you with him RN?
Carmen: Byyyeeee!!
I closed up my phone and silenced it before sneaking a peek at Isaac. “I’m actually not that tired.”
“Oh?”
“I’m nervous. Really, really nervous.”
“About us talking?” He turned to look at me, his eyes full of understanding, and maybe a bit of the fear I thought was mine alone. “Should I be worried?”
I reached out and gripped his hand. “Yes. Very worried. You should be peeing your pants right now.”
Isaac laughed. “I’ll wait until I’m out of the van.”
“My parents would appreciate that.”
We went silent again as Isaac pulled onto my street. He eased the van all the way up into the driveway and parked. “Carmen, if you want to talk another night, it’s okay. We’ll be okay.”
It was a tempting offer. But then he started rubbing his thumb over mine, making lazy circles in a way that was highly distracting, and I didn’t want to stay another second in the friendzone with him. “No, I want to invite you in.”
