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Checking out her spring-green eyes, I nodded. “I hope so. Thanks for inviting me to spend time with your family, um, despite the drama.” I jumped out of the car and headed toward the house as Eli seemed to finish his speech. Eddie turned to walk back toward his house, and Eli huffed, walking to his car.
“Hey, baby girl. Ready?” With barely a glance at me, he got inside his Charger. Once he unlocked the doors, I slid in the passenger seat.
“What wasthatabout?” Eddie gave us a quick look before entering his house.
Placing his hand behind my seat, Eli backed out and took off at a heavy speed down the side street. “Nothing. I just don’t like that guy near you.”
His jaw muscle flinched as he stared at the road. My brow furrowed as rocks formed in my belly. “Did something happen?”
“No. Nothing. Just saw him lurking about. I don’t trust him.” Eli drove in silence the rest of the way.
The evening went nothing like I expected. Eli sat in the corner of the room in his own chair, a distant look on his face. Rhodes, Avery, Odin, and I played some fun games while Adon told tales about the three brothers as kids. Rhodes and Adon would give Eli cursory glances, but he never really engaged the rest of the night. Distracting myself, I let Rhodes and Odin cheer me up with their silly jokes until Eli stood and asked, “You ready to go?”
In the car, Eli turned up the volume of his music again, blaring it to prevent any conversation. Once we reached my front door, he was obviously buzzing with some type of aggravation, and his energy was unsettling my nerves. When he entered, dropping all my presents the Griffin brothers and Avery and Odin had gotten me on the couch, he shifted from foot to foot as if he didn’t belong in his own body.
I didn’t even want to ask in case the answer wasn’t what I wanted, but I had to know. “A-are you staying?”
“Do you want me to?”
Narrowing my eyes, my irritation flamed. “Of course, I do. You haven’t stayed over in a week.”
As if deflating a balloon, his body collapsed on itself, shoulders hung as his head dropped. “I’ve been si—”
My hands found their way to my hips as I interrupted him. “Yeah, sick, I know.”
When his eyes lifted, they were glassy, the dependable brown now appearing like a cold, wet night. Scanning each other’s faces for a minute, I finally broke the silence.
“Eli… what is wrong?”
Shirking off his coat and tossing it onto a chair near the window seat, he said, “I’m just tired. Let’s head to bed. I haven’t been sleeping well.” Before I could ask more questions, he turned toward the stairs and disappeared upstairs. I’d never felt so lonely in my life as having this ghost of a boyfriend with me.
After he turned over in the bed, I laid awake, considering all the possibilities. Was it that I had done the video with him? Had it only been about sex and now he wanted something different? Maybe I was simply too young for him. Perhaps he was depressed and needed help. Still afraid he would just end things if I asked him outright to explain what was going on, I counted thousands of sheep attempting to get my mind off my disappearing boyfriend. Finally, I fell asleep, only to wake up to an empty bed.
On New Year’s Eve, I thought Eli and I would spend a romantic evening together, but he fell asleep on the couch by 8 p.m. while we had been watching the TV special. When he awoke the next morning, he apologized. Then, as I tried to make him breakfast, he took off to the gym before I was finished cooking.
For a man with such a robust sex drive, his had taken a nosedive. We barely made out, let alone had sex. At first, he had valid excuses, like being ill for that week. Then, it seemed more ridiculous, like he thought he was getting a cold sore or had eaten too much Mexican. Those would never stop the Eli I knew before.
Every time I would pass my reflection, I wanted to look away. I had gained weight now that I was better able to afford groceries and cook for myself. We had gone out to eat a couple of times recently, Eli staring off into space as we did so, and the holidays helped me gain some curves.
At first, I loved it because I felt like I was growing into a woman’s body. When he stopped being so affectionate, I blamed my looks. Maybe I was getting too fat for him. Eli was extremely attractive and fit. He needed someone on his level to be with him and I had slacked off in taking care of myself. Perhaps that was why he no longer desired me.
Being too cold to run outside, I started using the campus gym when it opened for the spring semester the week after New Year’s. It was busy, and I wasn’t sure what to do once I got there. Texting him, I asked Eli to help me create a meal plan and a workout program. He said he would, but a few days later, he’d forgotten.
Since Eli always said I was too young in his prison letters, the Monday before my birthday, I stored myBuffyDVDs in the top of a closet and dedicated myself to organizing my house, making it appear more grown-up while he was at work. The few nights he did end up staying over were with him going to bed early, turning his back toward me and leaving first thing before I would wake up.
If my age was the issue, I couldn’t help that I was still a teenager, but my nineteenth birthday was in a few days. Everything within me wished that Eli would see how much I had matured over the previous month, but, more importantly, that he would be the man he used to be before the holidays.
ChapterThirteen
ESSA
“What time are people coming over?” Taking the birthday cake she baked out of its plastic carrier, Piper stuck a frosting covered finger in her mouth. It was decorated with snowdrops and carnations. Apparently, those were January birth flowers—she informed me with a look of disappointment that I didn’t know.
“Well, Eli said Rhodes and Adon couldn’t make it. Both had to work. Tate is on vacation in Costa Rica or someplace warm. Johnny said he would be here, though. Not sure about Dixson…” Hoping Dixsonwouldn’tshow up, I held my tongue. He was still Eli’s friend, so I wouldn’t press it, but after his reticence on Thanksgiving, he didn’t seem to warm up to me.
“So Eli’s actually going to show up…” Piper gave me a knowing look, her perfectly trimmed eyebrows crinkling her forehead as they raised. I’d told her my fears about Eli backing away from me. She sat with me through my tears, but finally told me to “find someone better.” Feeling like she had grown tired of my talk of my boyfriend, I ended up just avoiding the topic with her.
“Yes, he’s coming. He said he would.”
