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We both sat in silence for a long time. My mind was like the black screen on the TV; I wasn’t sure how to process everything. But I didn’t want Johnny there anymore. If I could make it up to my bed, I knew the flood gates of nightly torture would open. Part of me found comfort in that.
“I should go. This is too weird. Sitting here… I-I’m sure you don’t want to see me.” Johnny rose from the couch, but I pushed him back down with the heel of my foot on his legs.
“Thank you for telling me, Johnny. Thank you for trying to save Eli. But I have to know… What happened to the girl? Your girlfriend? Where is she now?”
“She couldn’t handle it. First, the guilt from that night wrecked her mind, and then she felt bad that Eli only got seven years for taking your father’s life. She felt like she could have done more to stop him from murdering him.” Johnny faced me with a stolid expression. “She killed herself.”
ChapterSeventeen
ELI
Staying away from Essa was pure hell. Despite my pep talks from Bass, I was struggling. Most nights after work, I hung out with Dixson at the bar for a few drinks, but the few were turning into more than a few. Every night, I told myself I would quit when the elusive tomorrow came.
If I were honest with myself, I would listen to the nagging voice telling me I had slipped. Telling me to get ahold of myself before I was too far gone. Instead, I showed up to work drunk.At least I’m not high, is what I kept saying in my head.It could be worse.
Dragging around the office, I pretended to be busy with the computer bookkeeping program, but really just stared at the little squares on the screen. Adon burst in, gripping the doorknob, and eyed me suspiciously. I was pretty sure he didn’t know how drunk I was. I wasn’t sure ifIknew how drunk I was.
“Need you to help Tate today. Mike’s called in sick.”
“What? You know I can’t fix cars. I’m shitty at it.”
“Yeah, well, we need all hands on deck,office manager. That’s something you should know since we’re two days behind on fixes.”
As I huffed and walked by him, I kicked the small plastic trash can across the room. Adon grabbed my shoulder and turned me, so I had to look him in the face. Narrowing his eyes at me for several seconds, his mouth slowly formed into a frown before he shook his head and let me go. No, fucker, I hadn’t used.
While zipping up the red jumpsuit, I kept swearing about how unfair it was I had to be in the garage “helping” when they knew I’d only fuck up. It was why I stayed in the office all the time. It was what I was good at. Well, when I wasn’t shitfaced on bourbon.
On the first car that came in, I accidentally forgot to put the oil cap back before the owner drove away. When she came back to complain, I shrugged. “Sorry, ma’am. Won’t happen again.”
“I think you said that last time I was here. I shouldn’t have to pay for terrible service like this.”
I scoffed. “Listen, it was an honest mistake. Anyone could have done that.”
“Well, this is the second timeyou’vedone it. So how much of amistakewas it?”
Just another asshole waiting for me to screw up. My rage built up to the surface until I let the bitch have it. “You know what, you dumb—”
Tate stepped between us, then pushed me away by the shoulders while I was yelling at the woman in the garage. Adon escorted her into the office. I presumed to give her a refund.
Tossing a towel into my face, Tate’s green eyes glared at me. “Man, sober up. I’m not telling Adon on you, but get your shit together. You been coming in here for a week smelling like a brewery.” Replacing the oil cap, he murmured, “I hate seeing you like this. This isn’t you.”
Pulling a cigarette from my pocket, I shoved on the back door and stepped into the bright afternoon sunlight. Before I could even light it, the door flew back open.
“Elijah!” Adon motioned for me to follow him back to his office. As soon as we entered, my brother used his elbow to pin my neck against the wall. Leaning forward, he sniffed around my mouth. “What thefuckare you doing?”
“What do you mean?” I asked as I grit my teeth.
“I mean, you’re showing up here wasted. I should fire you right now.” Pressing his arm against my throat, I started to lose my breath.
“Adon, I can’t lose my job. It’s part of my parole.” My voice croaked as he held me against the wall.
“Then you better sober up fast. Get the fuck out of my sight. Don’t come back until you’re clean.” Flinging open the door, he huffed as he left.
If the trash can wasn’t already knocked over, I’d kick it again. Instead, I punched the wall, busting my knuckles wide open. Yelling in pain, I used the greasy towel Tate threw at me to wrap them.
Heading back to the locker room to change, I noticed my car keys were gone from my pants pocket. I thundered into the garage and found Adon. “Where’re my fucking keys?”
“They aren’t your keys, and you’re not driving like this.”
