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“They fucking hurt.”
“Take a deep breath.”
“Hurts more.”
“But no sudden, sharp pain?”
“No.”
“Good.” She dabbed a cut over my right eye. “Ha! I feel like Claire. She’s the nurse who patches Daredevil up after he gets in a brawl.”
“So this guy loses a lot of fights, eh?” I snorted. “Some hero.”
“He usually wins,” Marit said. “He just takes a beating first. It makes the victory all the sweeter.” I heard the chair she was sitting in creak, as if she sat back. “So, tell me, Noah,” she said in an overly cheery tone. “What brings you to Amsterdam?”
I barked a laugh, then groaned at my aching ribs. I gave in and told Marit an abridged version of why I was here.
“You know that’s crazy, right?” she said quietly.
“Was,” I corrected. “Was crazy. It’s over now. My lifelines are gone. I can’t navigate my way to the next city, let alone make it to Charlotte’s show tonight. I’m done.”
“Okay.” Marit’s hand touched my arm. “Who can we call?”
“Lucien Caron,” I said. “He’ll be worried. But I don’t have his number. It was in my phone.”
Marit asked me a dozen questions to help track down Lucien and then sat at the desk and made a dozen phone calls.
“Lucien Caron?” she said finally. “Hello. I am calling for Noah Lake? Yes. A moment.”
I made my way to the desk, and Marit sat me down in the chair that was still warm from her presence. She pressed the receiver into my hand. The anguish in Lucien’s voice was hard to listen to.
“Noah? Are you all right? You didn’t check in last night. I called your phone. I heard only obscenities and laughter, then nothing.”
“Sounds like you spoke to my good buddy, Schuyler,” I said and held my head in my hands, hunched over the desk.
“Charlotte called me, not an hour before that.”
My head shot up. “She called you? What did she say? How did she sound?”
“Sad, my boy. But I told her to hold on because I believe in this endeavor. But after what I heard on your phone…” Lucien’s voice tightened, and I heard him swallow. “Well, I was on the computer to buy a ticket and come find you. What happened?”
I told him, sparing him as much detail of last night’s events as I could.
“I’m so sorry, Noah. I shall book a flight for you this night. And a car to take you to the airport.”
I don’t know if it was Lucien’s voice, or hearing that it was over from another person, or knowing that Charlotte was in pain, but the numbness I’d been feeling for the last few days started to fall away, piece by piece. My heart ached as if I’d been struck with a mallet. I pressed my lips together, the goddamn tears welling in my eyes at sudden, terrible pain.
“Noah? Are you still there, my boy?”
“I failed, Lucien,” I breathed. “I can’t keep my promise to Charlotte. Not because of fate or bad luck, but because I keep screwing up.” My chest felt so tight, I had to gasp for a breath, to speak while keeping the dam from breaking. “I failed. I failed Charlotte… I failedus.”
“You did better than anyone could have hoped. The journey itself was too difficult. The fact you made it this far is a miracle. You should be proud.”
“Proud? I felt nothing, Lucien,” I whispered. “I didn’t care what happened to me. I was down so deep…just numb. But now…” I sucked a tremulous breath. “Now that I’ve fucked it all up, I care again. I care a lot. I don’t want to quit.”
“Don’t,” Marit said from beside me. “It’s none of my business, I know, but…I can help. Let me help.”
I raised my head, hope and possibilities struggling to come back to life. Then I shook my head. “No, you’ve done enough. I can’t ask—”
