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“You’re radiant, Charlotte. They said that about you on our wedding day and now again that you’re pregnant, but you’ve always been radiant. And the first time I saw that beauty under my hands, I felt how I feel when opening a brand-new book. Do you know how that is? Where you only need to read the first few pages and you’re already thinking, ‘This might be a good one. One of the best ones. One of the rare finds that stays with you forever.’” A soft smile found his lips. “That’s how I felt, but I was far too bottled up and ready to explode to ever say something like that.”
“Oh,” I breathed, my heart pounding as if we were on a first date instead of married three years and expecting a child. “Oh, Noah.” I sniffed and brushed away tears.
Thanks to my hormones I cried at the drop of a hat, but these tears weren’t hormonal. I didn’t expect Noah to keep sweeping me off my feet, but somehow, he always managed to do it.
He faced me and took his sunglasses off, his hazel eyes sweeping over me. I didn’t say a word but leaned close to my husband and let him find me with his lips. He kissed me slowly, a deep pull of his mouth on mine, before breaking off gently to brush a stray hair from my cheek.
I caught and held his hand. “What do I look like now?”
He touched my eyes, my cheeks, my lips, gently feeling the contours of my face.
“You look…happy,” he whispered.
“Yes,” I breathed, “that’s exactly what I am. I love you, and I’m so happy with you. And…I have something for you.”
“Oh, yeah?”
“Yeah.” I bit my lip, excitement for my surprise ballooning in my chest. “Before your accident, did you ever see one of those 3D ultrasounds they can do now? Instead of grainy black and white, you can really see the contours and details of the baby’s face. It’s amazing.”
Noah nodded. “I think I remember seeing something like that. A long time ago,” he said dully. “Did you want one? We can search around for a place that does them.”
He sounded casual but his fingers drummed the back of the bench, and my heart ached a little. It hurt him that he couldn’t see his baby growing inside me. At our regular ultrasound appointment, Noah had clutched my hand and asked the tech over and over, “How does she look?” He was concerned for the baby’s health first and foremost, but I knew too, he felt blocked from the special moment. He couldn’t see what the tech, my doctor, and I could all see—his baby in my womb, wiggling and kicking, her heart beating fast and strong. It broke my heart.
Which is why, earlier today, I’d gone back for another.
“Well, I already found a place that does that, and I had a new ultrasound done.”
“And she’s okay, right?” he asked, automatically tense with worry. “Everything looks good?”
“Yes, honey,” I said soothingly. “She’s perfect. And beautiful. The pictures were quite stunning. So vivid. And the 3D prints…” I reached into my bag and pulled out the square white box and opened it. I took out the cast—a square of plaster—and pressed it to Noah’s hand. My voice fell to a whisper. “It’s amazing what they can do with technology these days.”
“What…?”
I watched, my heart in my throat, as he trailed his long fingers over the cast, investigating. He stopped at the center with a small gasp, and his hand began to tremble. He found the curve of a tiny, chubby cheek, then a dimpled little chin, and two eyes squeezed shut tight.
“Is that…?” He cleared his throat and tried again. “Is that my baby?”
My eyes blurred with tears to see his. I leaned close, kissed his ear, his cheek. “That’s your baby.”
He moved his fingertips over her again and again. “I can see her. This is her. Our baby…”
He sat very still for a moment, but for his fingers that looked at his daughter because his eyes could not. A strangled sound erupted from deep in his chest, and he bent over his knees, one hand covering his eyes, the other holding the 3D print. I held his shoulders as they shook and snuggled close to kiss his neck, my tears falling on his shirt.
“God, Charlotte,” he said hoarsely and then pulled me close, his lips brushing against my hair. “Thank—”
“No.” I shook my head, cutting him off before he could thank me for what was already his. “She is our baby, Noah. Yours and mine. We made her together. This…” I touched the print. “This is just what you deserve. As her father. And I know you are going to be an amazing father.”
He nodded, wiped his eyes on the crook of his sleeve, chagrined at his loss of control. “I’ll do my best.”
His best. This from a man who spent six weeks traveling across Europe blind for me. For us. Noah’sbestmeant his heart and soul, blood and guts, sweat and tears, and my heart was filled with so much love for him, I could hardly contain it.
“She looks just like you,” Noah said, still looking at the baby.
“Mmm, she has your chin, and God, do I hope she has your eyes.”
“My eyes,” Noah murmured.
He didn’t finish his thought and I didn’t ask. Noah pulled me to him, holding the 3D print tight in one hand—as if he’d never put it down—and resting his other on my stomach. We listened to New York all around us and felt our baby move beneath our hands.
It felt like it had always been this way, he and I, together. Amazing to think there’d been a time when we weren’t. We traveled so far to get here—across continents and great stretches of the black unknown.
I thought of the angry, bitter man who’d holed himself up in one room, listening to someone else read, and the heartbroken young woman who’d just needed a decent job and a little bit of peace. We’d both been smashed up by life and rearranged until neither of us knew ourselves. But somehow, we’d found each other, helped each other put our broken pieces back together to make something new and whole. And even more than that. I rubbed my rounded belly and smiled. We’d started with a maybe, and that maybe turned into a miracle.
The last caramel-colored light began to slip away, and we rose from our bench. Noah’s hand found the crook of my arm without having to reach, and I sighed to feel his strong grip there. Everything was where it was supposed to be.
“Come on, baby,” Noah said, bending to kiss me. “Let’s go home.”
the end
