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“Oh, I know,” I groaned. “When I fall, I fall hard. I can’t help myself. Even knowing I might shatter into a million pieces when I hit the bottom.” I sighed, but a small smile escaped me. “I never do anything halfway.”
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Look, I don’t know what’s been going on with you and Lake; you’ve been holed up in that townhouse for weeks. Whatever the deal, you gotta get your head in the game. Come to Regina’s party. Bring him if you want, but come. Be among your own kind, and just…soak it up. Okay?”
“Okay. I promise.”
“Yeah, yeah,” she laughed dryly. “Try not to let itslip your mind. Oh, and I have the perfect solution to your confusion about Lake.”
“Oh yeah?” I crossed my arms.
“Yeah. It’s a magical thing. Works like a charm every time.” She leaned close. “Talk. To. Him.”
The loose easiness of my Friday night—and the two gin and tonics I’d consumed—began to fade on the subway ride back. I wasn’t afraid of talking to Noah, I just hadn’t realized Ineededto. My feelings for him were a tangled mess, but at least now I could admit they were there. Telling Melanie was like putting skin and bones on a ghost. But as the train drew closer to my station, a feeling of unease turned the bubbly drinks in my stomach into biting turmoil.
After the subway, I raced up the front steps of the townhouse and thrust my key in the lock. But it gave too easily. The door was already unlocked. And I always lock the door. Always.
I stepped inside and locked it behind me. The house was dark, but Noah had no use for lights, so he wouldn’t bother to turn any on. That should have made me feel better, except that the house felt so very still.
“Noah?”
It felt like calling into a soundless chamber. Not only was there no answer, there was no movement either. No floorboards creaking, no music playing, no footsteps. Nothing.
I tossed my purse and sweater onto the bed in my room and went upstairs to the second floor. It was empty and dark. I switched on the light near the stairs. Nothing.
You’re freaking yourself out for no reason. He’s upstairs, as usual, reading or sleeping.
But my skin itched and my nerves were humming again—this time with anxiety. Something was wrong. I knew it.
I hurried up to the third floor and stood outside the master bedroom. “Hello? Noah?”
Silence.
“I wanted to talk to you…”
I pushed open the door. The bed was empty. The sitting area by the window was empty. I rushed inside and searched the bathroom and both walk-in closets. Empty.
“Don’t panic,” I muttered. “Just don’t panic.”
I raced back down the hall, to the workout room, then to the guest bed and bath, searching even the closets. No sign of him.
“Noah? Where are you?”
I hurried down to the second floor and went to the casual living room off the kitchen that wasn’t visible from the stairs, praying I’d see him stretched out on the couch, asleep. He wasn’t there. I checked the never-used dining room, the linen closet, bathroom, even the kitchen pantry, my heart pounding harder and faster every time my search turned up nothing.
“Noah! This isn’t funny!”
More silence.
I raced down to the first floor and searched my area, wondering if he’d snuck down there while I was upstairs, or had decided to take in some fresh air in the backyard. The first floor was empty and the door that led out to the backyard locked tight.
My terrified mind couldn’t refuse to admit it any longer.
Noah was gone.
chapter twenty
