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“She’s a generous little soul, isn’t she?” my mother said.
“Yes, she is,” Ava replied across from me, and I could tell by the tone of her voice she had something on her mind. But apparently, she was saving the lecture for later. She said nothing more but listened as our mother demanded I recount the mugging again, with heavy emphasis on the fact that neither of us was hurt.
“But she lost her violin, the poor dear,” my mother said. “No wonder the Juilliard talk upset her.”
“But now tell us about Charlotte,” my father said. “She left the table before we could…how did you put it? Heap praise on her?”
I couldn’t possibly explain to my parents everything Charlotte was, and everything she had done for me, or how much she meant to me. It would have taken me all night. I shrugged. “She’s extraordinary, and I care about her,” I said, those words sounding silly and inadequate in my own ears. “What else can I say?”
This answer sent my parents into apoplexy of joy, but I felt a cold front from Ava that only grew stronger as the conversation progressed.
“So what are your plans now?” my father asked. “Given any thought to a new career?”
“As a matter of fact, I have. A new career out of the ashes of the old, I suppose.Planet Xis having its big party next week in the city, and I’m going to go.”
“Really?” my mother asked, and I could hear the dread, barely disguised, in her voice. “I thought you cut ties with the magazine after the accident?”
“You thought I’d burned all my bridges, you mean,” I said with a small smile. “It’s okay, I thought I did too. But Deacon—Deacon McCormick, remember him? He tells me Yuri would love to have a sit-down so…” I held up my hands. “We’ll see what happens, but Deacon made it sound like the door’s open there.”
“Please don’t tell me you’re going to resume all those daredevil stunts,” my mother said. “It was bad enough when you could… It was bad enough before the accident. Honestly, Noah, I don’t think I could take it.”
“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” I said, the old irritation flaring with a vengeance, surprising even me. I reached carefully for a sip of cold water. “Obviously, I can’t do what I used to do. Not everything anyway. I’m going to talk to Yuri… I wasn’t a half bad writer, you know,” I added, hating how petulant I sounded.
“Quite so,” my father said, “and I think it would behoove you to put your energies there and not jumping out of planes. There’s no reason to put your mother through another catastrophe. You’re limited now. You havelimitations. Don’t be stupid enough to think you don’t.”
The anger sparked and caught, and I waited to feel Charlotte’s comforting hand in mine. But she wasn’t there, and I clenched my empty hand into a fist.
“Believe me, I’m well aware of my limitations,” I said evenly. “I’ve done nothing but sit around, being aware of my limitations for the last four months. Now I’m finally doing something and you’re giving me hell for it.”
“Noah, calme-toi, s’il te plait,” Lucien said, and for some reason his voice wasn’t fuel to the fire like my father’s.
I took a steadying breath and turned to my mother’s end of the table. “It’s just a party, Mom. A meeting. It doesn’t have to be terrible.”
I heard her push her chair and come around; her perfume grew strong and then she was holding my shoulders. “I can’t lose you again. Not again.”
She departed, presumably to watch one of the dozens of CSI shows she loved. My father fixed me with a disapproving stare I didn’t have to see to feel, and then he and Lucien retired to the study to smoke and talk overseas affairs. Ava remained at the table with me, and her cold front turned positively frigid.
“I need to get back to Charlotte, so say what you’re going to say.”
“Where to start?” Ava mused. “Mother’s right, you know.”
“About my ‘daredevil stunts?’” I snorted. “According to the therapists at the facility, there is nothing I can’t do if I put my mind to it, right? Isn’t that theKumbayashit you guys were constantly spoon-feeding me?”
“Goddamn, but you’re selfish,” Ava snapped. “I meant, Mother was right about not being able to lose you again. You have no idea what you put her through when you worked for that fucking magazine. You pride yourself on your writing.” She scoffed. “Yes, you’re good. So good, in fact, that Mother was in tears reading about your sports, so exquisitely detailed. She was so scared all the time, what happened in Acapulco wasn’t even asurprise.”
I sat back in my chair.
“Oh, hadn’t thought of that, had you?” Ava snorted in disgust. “No, you were so busy living your life, you never thought about what it meant to her or Dad. Or Lucien. Or me.”
“Big talk coming from the woman whose offices are routinely shut down bybomb threats,” I retorted. “You have some nerve, name droppingCharlie Hebdoand then lecturingmeabout how dangerous my job is. Or was. Face it, Aves, neither one of us is cut out to live boring, sedate lives. You, more than anyone, know I can’t sit behind a fucking desk. Or maybe you were all happier with me being holed up at the townhouse, safe and sound?”
There was a silence, and I imagined Ava twisting her wine glass around, planning her next line of attack. Instead, she sighed.
“You’re right. I hated your stunts too, but I hate the idea of you having to give it up more. I’m sorry that you’ve had to. ButPlanet X? I like Yuri; he always seemed like he was looking out for you. But the rest of those guys were jerks, and Deacon their king.”
I shrugged. “It is what it is.”
“Really? And what does Charlotte think of your grand plan? Because she doesn’t strike me as aPXkind of gal. In fact, she’s the exact opposite of every single woman I’ve ever known you to be attracted to. And that’s a compliment.”
