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Throughout the afternoon and evening, I’d checked in with him and tried to get a bead on what was going on, but he’d insisted he was fine. And just like when he’d come back after the conversation with his sister, he’d tried to put on aneverything is okaysmile.
But there was never the right moment to take him aside and ask him to level with me. Too many people around who’d notice we were gone. Too few places we could go for a little privacy.
Not until we were back in our room.
I thought that when we were behind closed doors, he’d drop the act. He’d exhale just like he had after the graduation party, and he’d tell me what was bothering him.
He didn’t.
His shoulders stayed tense. His eyes stayed down.
Was he…
Was he hiding this fromme?Oh, shit. Did that meanIwas the problem?
What had I done? What had I missed? Panic crackled through me, but I took a deep breath and made myself calm the hell down. Find out what the issue was.Thenfreak out.
He was hanging up his jacket and had taken off his shoes, so I followed suit. Even these high-end dress shoes got uncomfortable after a while, so it was a relief to get them off my sore feet. One less distraction, too.
With no more excuses or reason to put off the inevitable, I touched Isaiah’s waist and looked up into tired eyes. “Hey. You okay today?”
The soft smile might’ve convinced me he was… except it came a moment too late. He’d already let the mask slip a little with the minute drop of his shoulders and the way he flicked his gaze away before schooling his expression. “I’m good. It’s just… It’s been a long day.” He laughed quietly, and he wasn’t even subtle about faking it. “A lot of peopling.”
“Yeah, it was. But I don’t think that’s why you’ve been on another planet today.”
He flinched, and guilt twisted in my stomach. I didn’t want to make any accusations, but I was as exhausted as I was worried. I hated seeing him this clearly unhappy, and I wanted to get to the heart of this so we could fix whatever the hell it was.
“Talk to me,” I pleaded. “Because you’re not okay.”
He dropped the mask completely this time. He wouldn’t look at me, and his expression was one of… hurt? God, what happened?
Finally, he whispered, “I don’t think this was a good idea.”
My heart stopped. “A good—which part? Coming to the wedding, or…?”
He sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, looking for all the world like he was going to collapse right at my feet.
“Hey.” I lifted his chin and searched his eyes. “What wasn’t a good idea? What aren’t you telling me?”
Isaiah chewed his lip. “All of it. Coming to the wedding. And…” He winced as if his own thought were physically painful, and his voice was barely audible as he said, “Us.”
That single whispered syllable slammed into my senses like a puck cracking off the dashers. “Us? You don’t… You don’t want us to be together?”
“No, I do. I… God, Tanner.” He wiped his hand over his face. “I want this more than anything.”
The tiniest glimmer of hope tried to work its way in, but the thick fog of dread kept it faint. “But…?”
Isaiah’s jaw worked. Then he stepped away from me, pacing across the room as if the restlessness had become too much to contain. When he started talking, the words came fast, his voice threadbare like I’d never heard it before. “Today was… I’ve known ever since we met that we’re from totally different worlds. We have completely different lifestyles, you know?” He raked an unsteady hand through his hair. “I thought it didn’t matter, but today… I mean…” He stopped pacing, his back to me, and tilted his head back as he rolled his shoulders. “I don’t fit into your world, Tanner.”
He couldn’t have fucked with my balance more if he’d been a monster defenseman slamming me into the dashers.
“What?” I whispered. “Isaiah, of course you—”
“No, I don’t.” He turned around, pain and regret etched all over his beautiful face. “No matter how much I want to…” He trailed off, shaking his head, and added a ragged, “I can’t do this.”
The need to reassure him should’ve sent me striding across the room, but utter shock had me rooted to the spot. “Where is this coming from?”
The way he avoided my gaze sent a cold ripple of renewed panic through me. As if he were slipping through my fingers. Or he already had.
