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Her brain just registering what she said, she slaps her hand on her mouth and tries to talk at the same time. “Oh, no. What have I done! Please, Jordan, I beg of you not to tell anyone what I just said, not a soul. Please.” Tears are in her eyes and start to run down her cheeks.
“Sasha, wait, stop. I would never do that to someone. You don’t know me, but I promise you can trust me.” Reaching out, I pull her into a reassuring hug. “I will protect you, don’t worry. That’s your secret to tell, not mine.”
Slowly pulling herself together, we split apart, and she starts on her next glass.
Trying to make her feel better, I say something stupid.
“Even though you’re sneaking around, at least you have someone to cuddle up with at night. All I’ve got is night after night having to fight off women who want me for my money and status, trying to tie me down to marriage. Sometimes I think I should just say yes to some random person so at least they would all leave me alone.”
“That’s a great idea.” Her words are starting to slur a little. “We should arrange a marriage for you, so you are technically off the meat market with the vultures.” Both of us laugh a little too much at the concept.
“Yeah, right. Who would want to hook up with me for a loveless marriage where I wouldn’t want to sleep with them? I’m sure they’ll be lining up at the door.”
Sitting up tall, throwing her arms up in the air, she sloshes her champagne out of the glass onto her lap. “Me! Yes, me! Marry me, Dani can live with us, and everything will be perfect. No one will bother you, and people will think I’m straight, and everyone is happy.”
I look at her like she has lost her marbles, but she keeps talking, not everything making sense, but I have to admit it has some merit.
“So, how long would we be married for?” I can’t believe I’m entertaining the idea.
“Until you get your girl, or I’ve had enough of your sorry ass. Deal?” She holds up her glass to my beer.
“Deal,” I say, knowing that in the morning when she’s sober, she will be begging me to ignore everything she said tonight. She’ll blame it all on the champagne.
A lot more drunken discussion proceeds that, and the night finishes with me sleeping on the couch, except I wake up in the morning with Sasha and Dani both on board and one hundred percent invested.
I’m not usually one for the crazy, but they convince me that it’s going to make me happy. And in the end, I start to believe them. The next thing I know, we’re standing at the altar and saying I do.
* * *
The only people who know our marriage is fake are our lawyers who drew up all the paperwork, and of course our publicists. In a way, this mess is partly their fault.
“So, like I said, way too much alcohol and two people who were so miserable that any idea would’ve seemed good at the time.”
“Do you regret any of it?”
Nat’s question bounces around in my thoughts for only a few seconds before I reply, “Not a moment of it. I have gained two really great friends and my life has been so much simpler with them in it. The only regret out of all of it is how I know I hurt you. I wish I had just kept pushing you and maybe we would have gotten here a lot sooner.” Kissing her on the forehead, I wait for her reaction to my words.
“If I’ve learned anything in the last few weeks it’s that those drunken nights can lead to all sorts of crazy consequences. I mean, if I hadn’t made such an idiot of myself that night at Xavier and Alesha’s dinner, then maybe we wouldn’t be here. We can’t change the past, and even if you had pushed me earlier, I’m not sure I would have been ready. Life has a funny way of letting things play out when worlds are ready to collide.” She leans her forehead on mine and takes a deep breath.
“Jordan, I don’t know how this is all going to work and there is so much we need to work through, but I do know I’m ready to try. Actually, it’s more than try. I’m ready for us to find our new world together, whatever that may be. I’ve fought this for long enough, and the sole reason I was doing it was to make sure you were happy and living your dream life. The flaw in this plan was I never told you that, so instead you might have everything you dreamed of, but because I wasn’t here, you were never happy. I’m such an idiot and have put us through years of torment when we should have been living our best life.” Watching her pause, I can tell she is about to say something that is hard for her.
“My biggest regret was that I was never honest with myself. I was scared. Scared to love you, scared to move out of my comfort zone in my small town and experience the world, but most of all, I was scared I would never be enough for you, competing against all the beautiful women who live in this kind of environment. I was scared to love myself in the way I needed that would make me enough for you.” She sighs, and I can tell she is trying not to cry, and my heart hurts at everything she just laid on me. Part of me wants to scream at her that she is crazy for ever thinking that, but that’s not going to help her get past her insecurities. We all have them about ourselves, and most of the time we can get past them. But then there are fears that change the course of our true life and block our journey.
“Beautiful, you have always been enough, even on the days where I want to kill you from how much you frustrate me. You see, that is what is enough for me. The real you, Natalie. The raw, tell-it-how-it-is, stubborn and fiery you. That is balanced by the beautifully stunning, kindhearted, sincere, and honest friend that I have always had in you. All of that mixed together gives me the sexy-as-fuck, hotheaded, brown-eyed girl who is mine, and I hope to always make you feel like more than enough, every single day of our lives together.”
I pull her face close and kiss away the little tears that are starting to roll down her cheeks. The emotions take over both of us and it’s like we are sealing all we’re feeling in one powerful kiss. Nat’s lips feel like home. There is no other way to describe it as our mouths fuse, and neither of us is coming up for air anytime soon.
“If you keep on kissing me like that, you won’t make it to your appearance.” Nat’s pulling away and trying to contain the same lust that’s building in her as it is in me.
“Mmm, but this is much more fun,” I moan, trying to kiss her again.
“Maybe so, but I don’t want your publicist on my ass when you don’t show up.” She swats my hands away as I try to stop her from climbing off my lap.
“Ugghhh, don’t bring up my publicist. Now that’s a conversation I’m not looking forward to. ‘Oh, by the way, I’m getting a divorce from my fake marriage with my gay wife. And also, I want you to meet my girlfriend who I’ve loved for the whole time I was married, and we are already in a relationship, and she is sleeping in my bed.’ Oh yeah, she is going to love me that day.”
“You might want to be ready to run as soon as the words leave your mouth. It could be safer.” We both laugh as I stand up next to her.
“Nat?” I put my hands on either side of her face and look at her, in wonder that we are finally here. “Thank you.”
