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“The fifth pick of the NFL draft, the New York Lions select Jordan Brandon, Quarterback, Syracuse University.”
The cheers go up around me. The camera shots of Jordan show he’s thrilled with this result. They’re handing him the jersey to hold up for all to see.
I think the second-loudest cheer besides Xavier comes from Coach Sampson. He should take some of the credit for turning Jordan around our senior year, focusing him on what was important in his life. Football. Up until then, no one had bothered to take the time to do that.
I’m overwhelmed to be back home, surrounded by people I haven’t seen in years. For Xavier it’s been the best night, and for me, I just want to get out of here as soon as I can. But I can’t leave the celebrations without people asking why. Jordan is Xavier’s best friend, so by association, I should be jumping up and down like he is. I just can’t, though. That moment when I see him on the stage in the New York Lions cap, in his suit, broad shoulders filling it out. The stylish navy suit with a jade-green tie, my favorite color. It’s the hottest thing I’ve seen in years. All I want to do is cry.
Tears of joy, tears of sadness, and a whole heap of tears of regret.
It surprised me to see his parents and brother at the draft announcement broadcast. Hopefully they’ve worked out that he is truly meant to play football at the highest level, and they have finally told him that they are proud of him. Although their body language tells me that not a thing has changed.
While the partying starts in the gym, the broadcast is still going, and my attention snaps to the screen as I hear another name.
“The nineteenth pick of the NFL draft, the New York Lions select Chase Lonigan, Linebacker, Syracuse University.”
Xavier stops and looks at me. The name means nothing to anyone else in the room, but us, we both start cheering. I’m really happy for Chase. The message I got from him earlier today told me he how worried he was. He had no idea what was going to happen. Where Jordan’s future was inevitable, to be picked up by one of the big teams, poor Chase really didn’t know. Besides the achievement this was going to bring to him, what it will do for his family is just as important for him. They’re struggling, and his aim was to get signed and then start helping them.
I can’t believe they both ended up together in New York. At least they have each other to lean on while they get settled in. Or so I think.
The phone calls I have with both of them that night are so different. Chase is screaming down the phone at me, so excited that I can hardly understand what he’s saying. We have it on speaker and both Xavier and I celebrate with him.
Jordan, it’s the opposite.
Xavier talks to him first. Watching Xav be so excited, I try not to laugh out loud. He’s beside himself, screaming through the phone at Jordan. I try to contain him so that at least Jordan can understand what he’s saying. Then Xav hands the phone off to me and turns to his buddies to relay all that Jordan said to him. The cheers from the crowd are so deafening, so I walk outside the gym with the phone so I can hear Jordan speaking.
“Hey,” I finally hear as the surroundings are quieter.
“Hi, congratulations! I’m so proud of you.” He’ll never see the tears of happiness running down my face tonight.
“Thanks, Nat, it means a lot. More than you know.” His voice is full of emotion.
“I know,” I whisper. “You finally did it. You worked so hard for this, I bet you’re excited.” I’m just trying to keep the conversation light.
“The shock is setting in. I actually can’t believe it’s real.” There’s noise in the background on his end every time someone else celebrates.
“I bet. So, you really are going to be a big-city boy. I always knew you would be.” I smile on my end, picturing him standing in the middle of the big stadiums, singing the national anthem in his terrible singing voice.
“You believed in me, Nat, when no one else did. You were there and pushed me to believe in myself. I’ll never forget that. I miss our chats, if you know what I mean.” What he’s really trying to tell me is that he misses me, and I feel exactly the same.
“Surely you’ve found someone far wiser than I am to be your guru, or in other words, someone to stroke your ego for you.” We both start laughing a little to break the moment.
“No one as good as you, Nat. There never will be. I mean, who else is going to call me out on my shit like you do?”
“Xavier will do that for you every day of the week, that you can guarantee.” We’re both still laughing.
“I bet he would if I gave him half a chance, but I’m not that stupid.” Silence falls between us. As I’m about to reply, he speaks, his words so sad and full of longing. Like a stab to my heart for what I’ve done. “I miss your laugh… I miss you.”
I don’t know how to reply to that. There’s so much I want to say but I know it’s just rehashing past hurt.
“You’ll be so busy now you won’t have time to miss anything. Don’t dwell on the past, Jordan. Embrace the future with everything you have. I know you will be amazing. I’ll be watching from here. Live the life you were destined for.” The tears are now running down my face for all I have stupidly lost.
“No matter where I am or what I’m doing, you know I will always be here for you. I don’t want you to forget that.”
I gulp deep breaths at his words, trying not to make a sound.
Hearing his name being called in the background, I almost feel relief. “Sounds like you have to go.”
“Yeah, they need me for some promotional photos.” He should be on top of the world, yet I still hear a hint of sadness.
