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We haven’t even been on the phone for more than a few minutes and already she is putting up her barriers.
“I’m in bed because I’m tired and Sasha is away on a job in Malibu. I was just catching up with Xavier about the picks tonight. You know how he loves to give me his opinions.” Thank God, it breaks the ice, and we both laugh.
“Yeah, you and everyone else he can find to tell.” She just rolls her eyes at me.
“He mentioned you were a little distracted tonight, but he was lucky he had Kane there. Everything okay with you?” I watch her facial expression to see if anything shows.
“Yes, why wouldn’t it be?” A bit defensively, she sits up a little taller which is not helping me. Her snarkiness tells me it’s something, but nothing she wants to share.
“I don’t know, you tell me. I’m just checking on a friend and wanted to hear any problems firsthand, not off my teammate.” I can feel my hackles rise even mentioning her friendship with Lonigan. I know he has a thing for her, but so far, he’s smart enough to know she is off limits.
He’s never said anything openly to me that he knows there’s something between me and Nat, and I have no idea what Nat has told him, but one way or another, he has it figured out.
If I hadn’t already guessed he knew, then the first training run after my wedding sure would’ve told me something was up.
We were running drills and he totally disregarded the play we were running and just completely flattened me. Took the wind right out of me. The coach’s whistle rang out across the field and he told Lonigan to get to the bench. Lonigan just looked down at me, his eyes like steel.
“That one’s for Nat. You chose the wrong one, you fucking idiot.” Then putting his hand out, he pulled me to my feet and walked away without another word. And never mentioned it again.
If only he knew it’s her who pushed me into this position. Not the other way around.
“Very funny. I was messaging with him tonight. He tried to tell me you were being traded which gave me a mild case of hysteria. He thought he was hilarious.”
That made me feel a bit better that she was concerned about me.
“He always does. He won the team award last season for being the biggest clown. Let me tell you, he so deserved it.”
“So, is that the problem? You’re jealous that he’s funnier than you are?”
If only she knew.
“Not a chance. Firstly, I’m not jealous, and secondly, he might think he is funny, but I definitely outperform him.” I want to say of course I’m fucking jealous of him. The way you message and talk to him, and with no awkwardness like we have sometimes. He gets to see the good part of you more than I do, and that’s the worst thing about it.
“Anyway, if anyone was getting traded then it would more likely be him. No one trades the quarterback unless they’re shit, which we all know I’m not,” I say, knowing that will make her smile.
“Are all footballers born with egos or just the ones I know?” Her little giggle at her own joke makes me want to hear it all the time.
“Well, obviously your brother and Lonigan have it in spades, but of course I’m different.”
Her pretend coughing and the way her eyes are glistening, I know I have her.
“You’re different, alright…”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Should I be worried about what is about to come out of your mouth?” Running my hand through my hair, I see her eyes following my biceps. Well, at least she hasn’t lost that lust for me.
I’m an asshole for being happy that Nat still wants my body. For as long as I’m married, I can’t go there, and I would never put Nat in that position. But doesn’t mean I don’t want to.
Dreams, that’s all I get.
We continue to chat for a while, when I hear voices downstairs. I don’t want to cut this call off, but being on the phone to Nat when Sasha walks in, it’s just weird, and I don’t want to put either of them in that position.
I wasn’t expecting Sasha home until tomorrow, but the shoot must have been wrapped up early.
The voices are getting louder and closer.
“Whose voice is that?” Nat looks at me weirdly.
“Sasha must be home early. I should go. Let you get your beauty sleep.” I can see panic in her eyes.
