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“Really, like that would ever happen anyway. This is it for me, and it makes me just want to curl up in a ball in the corner and die.” The anger is starting to build low in my stomach. I didn’t know it was so close to the surface, but now it’s taking over, bringing back the tears from earlier.
“I’m sick of being led along by bullshit in my life, so why not just walk away from it? Things I was told, I know now were just smoke and mirrors or straight-out lies.”
“Cassandra.” He's trying to calm me, but instead, his voice is just pissing me off more.
“Don’t you Cassandra me. What if I don’t even want to be called that name? I might hate it and think it’s an ugly name. Who even gets to pick these names? Does someone just sit in some office with a baby name book and play with a Magic 8 Ball, asking the question of a name? Oh yeah, that sounds good for today. Who cares if it even suits them?”
I can’t stop. My rant is just pouring out to a guy I don’t even know, and yet he wants me to place all my trust in him.
“I know I don’t want to be back in my home, but it doesn’t mean I want to be here either. I mean, you said it yourself, you didn’t ask to be here, so at least we have that in common, I suppose.” By now I feel my heart rate peaking, palms sweaty, and my head is about to explode. I sound like a crazy woman.
All the poor guy did was ask if I was ready to talk. I doubt he was expecting me to blurt all that out.
Slamming my mouth shut, I try to stop myself from sounding like a raving bitch, but it’s harder than I thought. I didn't realize how much I wanted to get off my chest. Or more to the point, how much I needed to.
“I know the point is for us to be hidden with a new name in some place that no one would expect to find us, but surely, I could at least be told where I am. I mean, what if something happens, the bad guys turn up, and they hurt you and I’m left to fend for myself…”
“Stop! Right there! You can fucking stop that thought immediately!” Gone is the calm man that made me the breakfast, kindly showed me the shower. And back is the fierce voice from when I arrived. He pushes up and leans on the table with both hands fisted, his eyes burrowing into my soul.
“You will never be on your own. Not while I walk this earth. Do you understand me!” I might be worked up, but Ghost looks like he is ready to kill someone.
“My job is to keep you alive. And I’m fucking good at my job.”
His chest is rising up and down with force, and I’m not able to move. I don’t know how many seconds have passed between us as he lets out a huff and slowly sits back into his seat, although not looking completely settled.
Sitting upright now and shoulders back, I can tell he is used to being in complete control and is not impressed when anyone pushes past those boundaries. I didn’t mean to insult him, but clearly, I have.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble, although I don’t know if I really mean it this time.
“Enough. That’s twice. I don’t want to hear those two words again unless it’s something you have done, like stomp on my toe or drink the last cup of coffee and we are clean out of it.”
Knowing how much I love coffee, that scenario starts me thinking how much I would be pissed off at that.
“I don’t function without a coffee in the morning, so never, I repeat never let the coffee run out here.” My brain automatically makes a switch in the conversation that brings my rage down from peak irrational to just normal crazy.
We're both looking at each other, now a little lost after my outburst, and I can’t help but laugh a little. It’s not a full-on laugh, but I can feel a small amount of the tension in my body finally release.
Ghost has relaxed back into his chair and has this half-smile on his face. He achieved his objective and broke the strain between us.
“Now let’s start again,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest like he is not prepared for any answer except yes.
I just nod my head, since I don’t really have a choice.
“I know you have been dealt a bad hand, otherwise you wouldn’t be here. It’s not easy; in fact, this is probably going to be the hardest thing you have ever done. But the one thing that isn’t going to change right now is the reason you are here. You are in danger. There’s no sugar-coating it. And acting like a raving bitch isn’t going to help either of us. Do you understand how serious this is?” He's trying to talk less domineering to me, yet it’s not working, and I still feel like I’m in the principal’s office at school.
“Of course, I understand. I put myself in this position. I chose this,” I say, not wanting to back down and appear weak again.
“No, Cassandra, you didn’t choose this. That’s the problem, isn’t it. The people around you left you no choice but to do this. Nobody understands the luxury of choice in their life until it is taken away from them. So, let’s take that thought off the table straight away. Because if you don’t accept that, you are going to crash later when you finally realize it. And I can’t afford for that to happen at a time when we need you to be strong. If you need to cry, scream, or punch the shit out of something, let’s get that over with right now.”
The only thing I want to punch is him. What an arrogant prick!
When I walked in before and looked at him, I felt something. I don’t know what it was, but there was something.
Now all I feel is annoyance.
“You’re very blunt, aren’t you. Guess you aren’t here for the compassionate companion role then, are you.” I cross my arms over my chest, my body language giving off the same energy as his, putting up that barrier between us.
“My job is to keep you safe so you can testify. That’s it, plain and simple. Not to be your best buddy.” Getting up and walking to the kitchen again, he looks back at me, then down at his computer, tapping away on the keyboard for a few minutes.
