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The day has been taken up with creating a mini gym. Finally, after many hours of cursing, skinning of knuckles, trying to either undo or do up screws in ridiculously small spaces, the darkness of night is creeping in.
I tried to get Ghost talking, but he was more interested in trying to know more about me and my life. Thankfully, he wasn’t asking about my last couple of years, but instead, he wanted to know childhood memories and what I got up to in college. I’m sure he was thinking those stories would be more exciting than they are. Not having much money, I tended to stay home and study or just watch TV. It was enough for me. I just wanted to get to the end of my degree and not have wasted my time or money. I was just trying to set up a career by getting the best grades I could, so I would make a good impression when the time came.
Finally standing in the shower trying to wash off the dirt and grime of the day, it occurred to me that I hadn’t really thought about my current situation all day. My muscles now aching from all the holding of things and lifting equipment into place, I’m ready to get started tomorrow and get the adrenaline pumping for a good reason.
The showerhead sucks in this old house, but at least the water is hot and there seems to be plenty of it.
After we grilled some steaks, served with salad, and cleaned up after dinner, Ghost headed back into his office, offering me the first shower. I still can’t get a read on him, but at least by the end of today, I’m starting to think I might be able to manage to co-exist in this house with him, for however long I need to.
Who knows, we may even manage to become friends. Well, until the next time he pisses me off, that is.
I underestimated the energy I used today and how a hot shower has finally taken some of the tension out of my shoulders. Ever since I was in high school, any stress I was carrying always landed in my neck and shoulders. Every muscle locked tight, which ends up in relentless headaches. It hasn’t come to that, but I was probably borderline with all that has happened in the last few weeks. Today’s hard work and the heat of the water has certainly helped. So much better than the tiredness I would feel from having to attend the events with Jason. Trying to be switched on all the time and with my smile plastered to my face is so draining. I don’t want to think of those nights anymore. I’ll never be back there again.
Sleep hasn’t been my best friend lately, but lying my head down on this pillow tonight doesn’t seem to scare me as much. Hearing the clicking of the keyboard in the other room is becoming like a lullaby and the security I feel having Ghost close by all the time. I have no idea what he's doing, but I know whatever it is, it’s to help me, and for that I’m grateful.
My eyelids are heavy, and the pull of sleep is taking me under. As I feel my breathing slowing down, it's a relief that tonight I get to rest…
* * *
I wish I felt more comfortable in this green dress, it’s just not my color. Not that I ever get a choice in what I want to wear to these functions. I don’t even get the courtesy of the phone call. It’s usually an email or text message telling me what to wear, where we're going, and what time the town car will be picking me up. On the rare occasion I actually get asked if it fits with my schedule, but I’m guessing it’s when the secretary isn’t actually the one writing it. Someone else, maybe an office junior who is doing her work for her and has manners, but to Camilla, I’m just someone she has to tolerate in the grand scheme of things.
“You look lovely tonight,” Jason comments as I slide into the back seat of the car. He isn't even looking at me as he says it. I have a feeling it’s more like something he feels he's expected to say in front of the driver.
“Thank you.” I smooth the satin of the skirt down so I don’t end up with wrinkles in it before we even make it the function.
“Who will be there tonight?” I ask, trying to get Jason to pull his head out of his tablet that he is reading, which is nothing unusual. I get that he needs to work, but it didn’t used to be like this. When we first met, these nights out were exciting, and I had his full attention from the time he would pick me up at the door. The flirting in the car was light but enough to let me feel a little racy and that later that night, things would get heated. He wasn’t ever very adventurous, but it was pleasant. Since I hadn’t been with many men before him, I just assumed this is what it was all about. The movies and books just made it sound better than it actually was, just to sell the story. Life was good, and I was happy.
These days it feels more like a chore, and my head is telling me I need to start thinking about if this is what I really want. It’s a safe choice, comfortable, and I don’t need to struggle. Living in his home and being provided for was not what I wanted, but he insisted that it’s what a man does, he takes care of his girlfriend. I thought that was sweet and was something that I longed for. After losing my parents, I felt alone, with no one in this world looking out for me. So, to hear that he wanted to take care of me was a big relief. The mistake I made was that he wasn’t taking care of me, this was more ownership. I pay for you, so you owe me, or in other words, you work for me without you knowing you do.
“The usual people, plus a few more,” Jason mumbles at me. “I need you to do the normal routine, stay close, smile, and don’t interrupt.”
Seeing the eyes of the driver in the mirror, I can tell he's thinking the same as I am. What an asshole.
“Mhmm,” is all I can be bothered to reply. I turn and look out the window of the car as all the city lights are racing past because I don’t want the driver to see the sadness in my eyes. While my mind is screaming, "What the actual fuck did you just say to me! When did I let you become such a rude prick to me?"
I wanted to tell him to stick it up his pompous ass, but it’s not even worth it. When I spoke to my friend Michelle at work, she told me I was foolish to put up with that. I know it in my head, but taking that leap of telling Jason I want out of the relationship, I need to work up the courage for that. He has the power to be able to destroy my career in this town. Not that I would have done anything wrong, but he is the man they all love and trust. More fool them.
Pulling up to the entrance, the valet opens the door for me, and I know there is no point waiting for Jason’s hand to help me out.
I stand, making sure everything looks perfect as expected, but something in my gut is twitching tonight. I don’t know what it is that has me feeling out of sorts. Maybe it’s just knowing that my time here is ending. I’ll start looking for a new place to rent. I only need something small, which hopefully won’t be too expensive.
It’s been at least an hour since we arrived, and it’s been the same old, same old conversation.
"Oh, you are doing an amazing job, Senator, thank you for the money, Senator," or the main one, "Can I donate to your campaign, Senator?" closely followed with, "By the way, I could use your help with this situation, blah, blah, blah."
I excuse myself, needing some breathing space. I can feel my neck and shoulders tensing up, and the usual headache that follows is simmering just under the surface. After visiting the ladies’ room, I slip out a side door. The spring weather is perfect tonight. Not too cold or too warm, so standing here in a quiet secluded garden in a strapless dress is actually quite comfortable. Looking up, the moon is full, and although I’m sure the stars are there, being in Washington you can’t quite see them as clearly as you would expect. The smog of the city and its bright lights ruin any chance of that. I walk farther down into the garden to see what is behind the hedge, and as I walk around the back of it, a cute wooden seat is sitting in the secret section.
I’ll deal with the complaining later that I disappeared for too long. Sitting down on the edge of the bench so as not to risk dirtying my dress, I take a deep breath and feel like I’m finally breathing for the first time tonight.
Not sure how long I’ve been sitting here, my silence is broken as I hear the noise from inside filtering out through the door opening again. Not wanting to make myself known, I sit as quiet as I can. Hopefully it’s just someone outside for a smoke and they will leave as quick as they came.
“Did you get Loretti on board? Not that he had much choice. The boss has enough on him to make him do what we need anyway.” Ugghh, I’d know that voice anywhere. Even if she isn’t talking loudly, I can still pick it out. Camilla has this distinct pitch to her voice that grates on my nerves, or maybe it’s just because I can’t stand her that she irritates me more than most people.
“Of course. He knew that he had backed himself into a corner. He will produce the goods by Monday.” I don’t know who the male voice is, but he sounds a little gruff for my liking.
“Excellent, that will make the boss happy.” Camilla has a bit of relief in her voice about something.
“Let me worry about the boss in the boardroom, and you continue to keep him happy in your room.”
