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That's what I'm fighting for. The dealers got her hooked and she wasn't strong enough to get free. Dealers like Knox. It's the dealer's fault she was too unreliable to be a good mum. It's the dealer's fault she doesn't have the strength to fight. Until I blame her over them, I can't leave her. I can't abandon her. That's why I need to do anything to get out.
My tumbling thoughts have gone through every imaginable outcome; I've changed my mind a hundred times. But none of it matters while I'm alone here. Still on my knees, still gagged, still have my hands restrained behind my back in these thick cuffs.
You have never known fear until you know fear.
Mum's favourite phrase when she's semi-lucid. It never made sense before. The most useless quote anyone gave me, but it is so relevant. I am at the mercy of a man who plans to hurt me, humiliate me, and then most likely kill me. Why is he targeting me? The panic from earlier starts to return and my breathing becomes laboured.
“Look at you, like a Christmas present waiting to be unwrapped.”
My head jerks up as Knox announces his arrival, snapping me out of my spiral. Instantly words tumble from my mouth, gurgling nonsensical sounds that don't convey the desperate begging of my thoughts.
“You have a lot to say for yourself,” Knox observes, patiently waiting for me to finish.
With a lastfuck you,I give up.
I can’t just sit here and let him do whatever he plans, but I've struggled for the last ten minutes. I can’t get the cuffs off, and I can't get the chain free from the wall. I am trapped here. I can’t scream, and no one would care even if I could. I can’t fight him with my hands tethered. There has to be something I can do.
“Turn around,” he orders.
My head shakes, I can't move, even if I wanted to.
“I have a choice for you to make, my treasure. For the whole weekend, I am going to strip you, fuck you, and play with you any way I please. I am going to do this whenever and wherever I want. And you will do as I say.” Knox walks over to the cupboard and swings it open. I expect torture devices, but it is shirts. Rather than producing a way to hurt me, he removes his tie. “In return, I will not let anyone touch your sister at all.”
I don't understand the proposal. I get that he is offering me the chance to suffer instead of my sister. My suffering would be in the form of agreed slavery, so my sister isn't beaten or abused. That is perfectly clear, and I would do anything to save my sister, even that. But what confuses me is how this all helps him with his end goal. If I'm suffering instead of my sister, how would he get her to tell him the dealer guy's name.
“You will have no rights, no choices, no escape. You will do what I say, when I say it. Good behaviour will be rewarded, bad behaviour will be punished.” Knox strips his shirt, and I cringe at the idea it's to prevent blood stains. There has to be something I can do.
His slow approach only increases my anxiety. When he kneels over me, his cologne in my face, I inhale him in deep breaths. Why does he have to smell so good? He frees my hands. Not from their leather bindings, but from the clip holding each wrist together. The ache is in my shoulders rather than my wrists, but I still rub around the restraints like it's soothing. When I brave a hand moving towards the gag, he slaps it away.
“Your sister says you're a stripper. I want you to strip for me.”
My head shakes, my hands pointing at the gag.
“You won't strip for me?”
My murmurs are stupid, frantic and nothing like real words, while my head rotates in nods and shakes like something inside has snapped.
“You don't strip?” he concludes.
I nod thankfully, relief takes what little energy I have left.
“Show me.”
Dancing is something I do without thinking, and it doesn't matter how tired I feel in the changing room between sets, my body never lets me down.
Maybe if I can make him enjoy a lap dance, he'll find a reason not to kill me.
I need to dance like my life depends on it. It might take a few moments to compose myself before I'm in the right headspace to dance.
Imagine the club, the thump of the music. The thrill of the stage turning into the thrill as one of the bad boys in the crowd wanting me for an hour in a private room. Vince is good at enforcing the no sex rule, mainly because he wants to be the one earning that privilege. But he isn't here to stop me tonight. Maybe tonight is the night I dance my way into a sexy bad man's arms and get swept off my feet. This is the very thing I've dreamt of all these years.
eight
Knox
Portercloseshiseyesand prepares himself mentally for the challenge I've set him. I can see the stiffness and hesitation in his body as I realise how cruel it was to demand such a thing from him. Ordering submission is easy, even sex is no huge strain, anyone can lie back and think of England, as the saying goes. Obedience and compliance are easy to give, a full body lap dance demands so much more.
“I'm sorry, this was too much to ask from you. You don't have to dance for me.”
