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"I am hugging you. It's what friends do when they are sad."
"I have never had a friend like you," I confess.
"I suppose it was inappropriate with Gavriil."
I burst into tears at his words, and no reason why. "I do not know what that means."
"It's good to let it out." Porter rubs my back as my head rests on his shoulder. It is a very odd feeling.
"Right, get up. We can continue this on the sofa."
Easy for Porter to say. He just stands up and everything works. I clench my thighs, and nothing happens.
"I is might need hand up."
"I'll help you stand, but I need to know how you can talk fine one minute and gibberish the next."
"Gavriil always said to speak badly. That way, no one thinking I know. He said that everyone will under think me."
"That is very true." Porter wraps his arm around me but even with us both trying, I can’t stand. "OK. New plan. I'll go and get someone bigger than me."
I nod in approval, but he doesn’t see, too busy running from the room.
A big man runs back and opens the door, then he just stands there and laughs. "Sorry kiddo. You look a mess in that."
"Fuck off Freddie."
I know this man, I learnt his tells, and after that, he could never play poker again.
"No hard feelings, kid." Freddie scoops me up without warning. It's not the soft touch of Porter's hug, more like the hands who tore me away from Gavriil. To say my struggles are pathetic is an understatement. I fought my hardest against the men who came into Gavriil's house, so trying to fight someone when my body doesn't work is impossible. I'm dumped in a heap on the sofa by a very pissed off security guard.
"OK, get out," Porter orders with a confidence like no other. The way all the security nod and leave us alone together shows how much respect they have for this man. I don’t think it's because of his accurate stabbing ability.
"Calm down, it's OK now." Porter's attention is completely on me, as if I am somehow worthy. "Deep breaths."
"I should not… should not be weak… like this." Catching my breath isn't easy, but Porter kneels beside me, his hands holding mine. It's hard not to copy his deep breathing, especially after a few breaths make me feel better.
"You're not weak. You've been through hell, and it's going to take time to come out the other side."
"The other side?" I'm not sure I understand. I spent my entire captivity waiting for them to come and do mean things to me, but they never did. “They did hit, but I waiting for really bad things.” I know all the things Gavriil would do to someone to get answers, things which went around and round in my mind as I hung there helplessly.
"Why did they want me? They not ask anything… much… once… but I not listen, and they never ask again."
"Knox took them down alive. We'll know the answers soon."
Chapter fourteen
Porter
AfterdressingNicoinmy least favourite onesie, I had planned to get him eating, drinking and chatting, not about what he went through, but general chat where he actually replies to me. Instead, he hit the sofa and his eyes closed. Now I'm sitting here with nothing to do, and Nico is sleeping like the dead, so convincingly, I've had to check his breathing three times.
"Porter," Knox hisses from the door. I move Nico's arm off my waist and slide off the sofa without waking him.
"Is everything OK?"
"Porter, you need to be more careful with what you say around others."
I look around the empty hallway and close the door to the living room.
