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"I… don't know." He has a good point though. "We'll ask Knox tonight."
"I… was… You go home without me. I stay here."
"But Gladys is already cooking for you." If he won't stay for his sake or for my sake, then I have to find something else. "We'd need to buy you some supplies first, gas too, and food. You'll have to learn how to cook for yourself."
"I am not stupid. Gavriil go home Russia many times. I know how to cope."
"Nico, please. One more day. Let us help you buy what you need."
"I show you secret place. But this you must not tell anyone." Nico jumps down the slopes in one, but I have to scramble down on my butt. I remember playing out like this when I was twelve. Annie would never join me, and I enjoyed being alone. But I grew out of it once I hit my teens.
Nico takes me to a copse of trees, and he drops to his knees by the thick bushes around their trunks. Crawling in through an opening I can’t even see, Nico disappears from sight. I just have to trust him and follow.
After pushing through a curtain of branches, a tunnel opens up and it's easy to make my way forward.
This has clearly been Nico's secret den for a good few years. The bushes have been trained to grow up, but pruned in a way that has them curving in a dome around the internal space. It's about the same size as the caravan but it looks much more homely and lived in. The few trees growing in the copse circle are utilised, two holding a hammock under a waterproof tarp, and one as storage for pots and cups.
"My god, you are a proper little hermit."
"You want cuppity?"
"Sure." I've no idea what his cuppity is, sounds like uppity to me. Nico lifts a raft of twigs to reveal a little fire pit hidden under it. Two saplings with their heads cut off in a v sit either side, and Nico hangs a branch between them. He hooks a pan of water over the top and lights the fire. It dawns on me what he's doing. Cup of tea. I guess we Brits say it fast… and frequently. It isn't until I search for his water source that I realise the point to all this. He isn’t sharing his active imagination with me, or his fun secret den. He's showing me how he survives.
"Where does the water come from?" I think that answer is a deal breaker for the tea.
"There is stream near here," Nico shrugs. He lifts another wooden platform hidden under the leaves, pulling a basket from the small hole. "For you, I use this."
He holds up a bottle of spa water sold in shops.
"I thought you lived with Gravel?"
"He cook sometime, and he let me use shower." Nico sits beside his cooking station, giving a weak smile. "He gamble, I no money to help. He had a temper. Sometimes it best keeping distance."
"I am so sorry you had to live this way, but please don't reject the people trying to help you. I know you are showing me that we didn't come from the same worlds, but I knew when I was better off taking Knox's help."
"It hard taking help from men who sister kill…" Nico drops his head, sighing. "It feel like pity. I not need your pity."
"OK." I place my hand on his shoulder but jump back as he recoils violently from my touch. "I understand. Thank you for explaining, and for sharing this with me."
Nico smiles again and pours the tea. I think this is his way of showing me he'd take my help if we were actually friends. I never considered my motives, but maybe I am trying to help him because I feel sorry for him. But is that really so wrong if he needs the help? He is homeless and has been since he was a kid, he needs help urgently. I don't have time to win him around slowly. I'm going to need to change my approach.
"Will you come see Gavriil with me?" Nico asks softly.
"Of course."
He needs to see the man for himself, so his memory of Gravel isn't him lying in a puddle of blood, but comfortable and cared for in hospital.
Chapter thirty-one
Nico
Porterhelpsmecarrymy important things back to the car and we put them in the boot.
"Take us to the hospital please," Porter instructs confidently.
I'm happy to have him in my life, and I'll take whatever future they have planned for me, but I needed him to see that. I needed someone to know who I was before this, so they can see how far I've come.
Freddie surprises me with his lack of complaints about adding the hospital to our trip. Maybe he has changed since I helped Gavriil destroy him at Poker. I can understand why he'd still hate me for it, but his life is definitely better because of it.
