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I head downstairs in the hope of a muffin and some tea. Instead, I find Caeo waiting in the living room. He's already seen me by the time I've come to a guilty halt; there's no creeping past now.
"Good morning, Nico."
"Uh." I can't greet him without breaking my vow of silence. I've been speaking Russian since we came back because I can’t tell them what Edward did. He told Carter. I'd rather he'd just mentioned it to me. Now I have this to deal with as well. It's not fair to turn their attention to me while Porter is dealing with his sister. Speaking Russian is the only way to talk without lying.
"Still no English?" Caeo accuses with a soft, non-judgemental smile.
"Is something wrong? Have I done-" I can't ignore him. I say I don't need anyone, but Caeo has done more for me than anyone, even if he says he is doing it for Knox.
"No. I'm just doing Freddie's job now." Caeo gives me his special smile; the one he doesn’t give anyone else. If he is doing Freddie's job then I might see more of him. If I stay, that is.
"I should not speak against Freddie, but he did not like me here. Did I cause him trouble?"
"He caused that himself." Caeo gives me his special smile. He doesn’t look at anyone else the way he looks at me. I like the way he looks kindly at me.
"But it is my fault." Maybe I can trouble him with my issue instead of burdening Knox and Porter.
"No. Forget all that silly nonsense and have breakfast."
I can't deny food would be a good start to the day.
"The doctor said you were running a little hot yesterday," Caeo explains. "He had a lot of choice words for Knox too, I can tell you."
I remember, I just chose not to speak to anyone. I couldn't say anything because everything is a lie. Me being here will have to change. They'll give me more money into a place I can't reach and send me on my way.
"So why have you come back so quiet?" Caeo perches on the coffee table opposite me. "Don't tell me you're just tired."
"I am not tired."
"I disagree, but I don’t think it is the cause of your stress."
"They won't want me."
"For what action in particular?"
"Edward-"
"Nothing Edward did was your fault. If they don't see that now, they will before too long."
"I-" I've thought long and hard about an excuse for my silence that doesn’t require the truth. "Need a shower. But-"
"I understand. I think that is a task for Porter."
"Porter? Oh lord no, he cannot see me naked." If Carter is my dad, Porter is my - I can't even think about the change in our relationship. I haven't a hope under the stars of saying it aloud.
"I can-"
"Let Porter help you get set up. I'm sure you can do the rest yourself."
"I am not sure I can do any by myself."
"You eat breakfast. Go on, off you pop."
I have never worked out how to 'pop' when Caeo requests it, so I just walk as usual to the table in the kitchen.
"Where do you want to eat?" Gladys calls.
I've never known a house that could have so many options for where to eat. It's another sign that I'm not worthy of this life. Multiple dining tables and a full time cook is too much.
