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There’s a single second of utter silence. And then the roomexplodeswith emotion and screams of joy. I’m screaming, Neve and Eilish are screaming as they hurl themselves at Castle and wrap their arms around him. He still looks completely gobsmacked, but there’s a smile on his face that lights up my whole heart as he’s hugging them back in complete bewilderment.
My two friends whirl to hug me so tight it hurts, all of us squealing and screaming and crying at once. They tell me how excited they are that Castle and I are together, and how much they love that we’re a real couple now. So, I guess we’re having that conversation sooner rather than later.
Cillian shakes Castle’s hand and then gives a hearty laugh as he grabs him into a bear hug.
“Guess I always was that unhinged uncle you saw me as.”
Castle still isn’t saying anything. It’s like he’s too stunned, and smiling too hard to actually be able to form words.
Cillian chuckles as he claps him on the shoulder. “So, enjoy the throne you wereliterallyborn to sit on, Mr. Kildare.”
Somehow, through the chaos and the screaming and the tears of joy and hugs, I find myself back in his arms, looking up into those piercing blue eyes.
“You haven’t even said a word,” I giggle quietly as I lean up close to his face.
“I know,” he murmurs, cupping my chin, looking deeply into my eyes.
“Don’t know what to say?”
“Nah.” He shakes his head. “I know exactly what to say.”
I grin. “Yeah? And what’s that?”
“That I love you so fucking much.”
My lips slam to his as Neve, Eilish, Una, and Cillian burst into applause.
A crush might still be a disease. It might still be a cancer that poisons your heart and taints your blood until you think you’re going to lose yourself in the agony of it all.
But where I used to think it was incurable, I know now that I was wrong.
Thereisa cure.
Love.
A crush will crush you.
But love will lift you higher than you could’ve ever known.
EPILOGUE
CASTLE
“So, these are for you.”
Unceremoniously, I drop the small bouquet of daisies on Cynthia’s gravestone. My brow furrows as I stare down at the simple marker, my back molars grinding.
“This isn’t me” I continue. “But I’m trying this new thing where I let go of the past that’s keeping me stuck there.” I shake my head and look away. “You were a shitty mom, Cynthia. But…” I shrug and glance back at the marker. “But at least you were there, a little, when no one else was. When nobody wanted me at all…even if you were taking a paycheck for it.”
I hold up the letter that Callie found in our old apartment in Alphabet City. I’ve had it checked by an expert against other samples of Svetlana’s handwriting. It’s definitely hers. She’s the one who was threatening Cynthia, telling her not to come by the house anymore or even mention me to her ever again.
The lighter flicks in my other hand, and the flame touches the corner of the letter. I watch the old, dry paper flare up and turn to ash before I drop it onto the grass.
“No, I don’t forgive you. Not for what you let him get away with. Not for me. Noteverfor Kelly,” I growl bitterly. “But I’m letting go of my anger toward you, and if that brings you a little bit of extra peace wherever you are, then you’re welcome.” I take a slow breath and then exhale. “Goodbye, Cynthia. I won’t be coming back here.”
And that’s that. I turn and walk away, pausing only for a second to smirk at the pile of churned earth and rubble that was my adoptive father’s grave until last night, when I had the whole thing destroyed.
I spit on it before I walk away. Because fuck him.
