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Because as I stand here, looking at her, reliving the violence that cameafterthe pleasure, it’s like a bucket of cold water being dumped on my head. And it’s very, very sobering.
This—our arrangement—cannot bethat.
As in, a real relationship. As in, what we came so perilously close to doing in that library before the bullets started flying.
My job—my mission—is to protect my family and its empire. Part of that is keeping Callie safe.
Notfucking her.
Not spanking her, and fingering her tight little cunt until she floods my fingers, and imagining that it’s my cock instead.
It’s not going to be pleasant, but it’s time to nip this in the bud.
“Callie, what happened earlier—”
“I’m a big girl, Castle,” she says flatly as the hint of smile drops from her lips. She pointedly turns her attention back to her phone. “It was some fun. No need to read anything into it.”
I keep eying her as she types away at something or other.
“So…you’re okay?”
“Yeah.”
She pushes her fingers through her long, dark hair. “I’m fine.” Her lip sucks between her teeth as she turns toward me. “There’s, uh…there’s only one bedroom, though.”
“Take it,” I grunt. “I’ll be fine on the couch.”
I refuse to acknowledge the barely contained look of disappointment on her face.
But this isn’t any more a honeymoon suite than we are an actual married couple. This is a hideout. It’s Fort fucking Knox, if Fort Knox came complete with a wine fridge, remote-start fireplace, state-of-the-art luxury kitchen, and sixty-million-dollar views of Central Park.
Without another word, Callie abruptly gets off the couch, grabs her bag, and carries it into the bedroom. The door slams shut behind her as my brain does somersaults trying to shake the memory of the sound she made when she came for me from my head.
Yeah, good luck with that, bud.
This is going to be a very,verylong year.
19
CALLIE
Fuck.It’s obvious he regrets what happened earlier. It’s also obvious I should, too, except I seem to be incapable of doing that,orof pushing it out of my mind.
It’s kinda hard to forget your first real sexual experience involving something more than your own fingers or a battery-operated helper, after all. And when that experience is the most mind-blowing, toe-curling, full-body-explosive feeling you’ve ever had in your life?
Yeah. No. I’m pretty sure I’m going to have a hard time forgetting that.
And IknowI don’t regret it.
Even if it’s clear his walls have gone right back up and are even higher than they were before.
The really insane part is that I’m not even thinking too much about the fact that we were just shot at. That Neve and Eilish’s home, which has becomemysecondary home, which has always felt so safe, was just riddled with bullets.
I mean, obviously that terrifying memory is there. But it’s way in the background compared to the replays of Castle grabbing me and kissing me in a way I’ve literally dreamt about since quite possibly the day I met him. And as much as I know I should forget that, and as clear as it is that he’d like to, as well, there’s no erasing any of that from my thoughts.
In the lone bedroom of the apartment, I scowl as I hug my knees to my chest on the bed.
He’s so confusing. It feels like one minute he’s looking at me like I’m this terrible burden he’s been saddled with, and the next, there’s a vicious jealous fire in his eyes, like he’s furious that I’m even aware other men exist on the planet.
