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“TV makeup.”
“You look hot.”
“Thanks.” I shrugged; a compliment was a compliment. “How are the mean streets of Elmer?”
“All good. A drunk tourist tried to walk a tab at the steakhouse, but other than that, business as usual.” Head bent over his phone, he hammered out a text as fast as Bailey.
“Who are you messaging?”
“The mayor and Jude, telling them you are here.” He shot me the aren’t-you-happy-we-care look, and I stifled a groan.
I loved my family. I did. But...
“Please don’t tell me you have a group text to check up on me.” I pushed my half-eaten cheese sticks in his direction. I had to go home and make dinner with Bailey soon, so I might as well feed my beast of a brother. After rehearsals, she could eat enough to feed a linebacker on the school football team.
He shrugged and laid his phone face down on the bar. “We are not checking up on you. Vacation Dream Homes is a big deal for this town. The mayor and I have a vested interest in knowing how it’s going. And Jude gets a cut of that massive commission you are going to earn.”
“Oh, so this is a professional interest. You as the town sheriff, Grandma as the mayor, and Jude as my boss.”
His cell buzzed. “She is in the parking lot.”
“Of course she is. Colton, do you have a tracking thing on my phone or car?” My brother had the uncanny ability to pop up wherever I was.
“Ah, no need. This town has two thousand people. And you may be the second most predictable resident. If you aren’t at work or home, you are here.” He had a point; I was a creature of habit. And The Pub was my home away from home.
“Who’s the most predictable?”
“Easy. Jude. He’s always at the office. Always.” He lifted his cell and flashed a text message toward me. “See, he isn’t going to make it tonight. He’s working late but asked you to call him later and tell him how it went.”
My grandma was the only senior citizen I knew who could make a commotion walking into a bar alone. She was that kind of woman. At eighty-something, she was a powerhouse. While others her age were knitting and watching Wheel of Fortune, she ran city council meetings and pushed the Chamber of Commerce to diversify its membership. She lived and breathed Elmer.
“Darling grandchildren!” Her voice drew every eye in the bar. Not that it was crowded.
The Pub catered to the locals, and the after-work crowd was only just arriving. The bar had been in business for over sixty years. If you grew up in Elmer, it was likely you bought your first legal beer in this place.
“Mayor!” my brother called back. He had been trying to get her to call him Sheriff since she got elected. It wasn’t working, but he was sticking to his guns and now only called our grandma by her elected title. The first Christmas he did it, I thought our mom would kill him before we finished opening presents.
“Colton.” Grandma buzzed a kiss on his cheek.
“Cami.” I received the same greeting as my brother.
The familiar smell of her signature lilies of the valley perfume wrapped around me like a hug. She might be the mayor, but some things hadn’t changed since I was a kid.
She took the seat on my other side, and Lara delivered her standard order. White zinfandel on the rocks with a liberal splash of club soda in a pint glass with a maraschino cherry.
“Tell me everything. Was Wilson Phillips as handsome in real life as on the internet? Did he buy a house yet? Can I count on him to donate to the library fund?” She popped the cherry between her frosted pink lips and jerked it off the stem.
“Easy, Mayor. Let Cami tell it,” my brother said, gesturing at me with a half-eaten cheese stick.
“You googled my client?” Grandma had done the very thing I’d berated myself for not doing. I’d memorized his house wish list but hadn’t run the Google search. Ugh.
“Duh.” She rolled her eyes in an excellent impersonation of Bailey at her most obnoxious. “Rich. The right age. Handsome. I told Jude that you were the only agent I wanted to have a chance at this client.”
“You pimped me to my boss?” I kind of wanted to order three shots of tequila and pass out under a table, forgetting all of this. My family managing my life was something I should be used to by now, but this was over the top.
“The production company reached out to my office, looking for a local real estate agent that would be appropriate for the TV program. Your beauty pageant past was exactly the kind of thing they wanted, so I sent them to Jude and told him it was your job.”
I blinked. Like ten times. Hello, small-town nepotism.
