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I mustered up a smile, leaning into the hand that caressed my cheek, the one that was red from me scratching at the cheese. I nuzzled against his palm, sniffing like a goddamn animal as I tried to replace everything in this house with Gianni’s strong scent of pine. It had to be the fucking body wash or aftershave but I didn’t care.Anythingwas better than smelling Owen right now. “What are you doing here?” I asked, as if I wasn’t sprawled out on the floor, my body shaking from the aftermath of a panic attack.
Even for as weird as I was, sitting on the floor wasn’t one of my usual spots unless I was actively working on a project, papers strewn in every direction. I couldn’t even find an excuse that would explain this situation away.
I’m not sure I wanted to.
It was so fucking hard pretending all the time.
Gianni had the good nature to look sheepish before he grinned down at me. “I’ll admit that I may have broken in but I swear it was only because I saw your ex-fiancé leaving. You alright?”
Anger was what I should have been feeling but it seemed as if I was okay when the people breaking in were people I actually enjoyed fucking. Go figure. Besides, had Gianni not decided to do so, I might have spent the rest of the day sitting here. Strangely, his concern was welcomed. I let out another deep breath, my limbs growing heavy, no strength to do anything but continue to sniff his hand like a goddamn weirdo.
It was not my fault that he smelled good.
He also knew that I was an oddball, the man moving his hand slightly so that he was all but covering my mouth and nose with his palm. My eyes rolled into the back of my head as his scent fully consumed me, my shoulders relaxing as it thrust me into a world where it was just me and him for a moment.
“Rhys, talk to me. Babe. Hey,hey,shit.” I didn’t answer him because my tongue felt heavy but that didn’t stop Gianni from hoisting me up in his arms and moving toward the bathroom. “Breathe, babe. You’re going into shock.”
I tried glaring at him because that’s not what was happening. I just couldn’t breathe. Or think. Or feel. The numbers weren’t numbering. The sequences didn’t make any sense and…one plus one is…I growled in frustration. My brain wasn’t working and only Gianni’s rough hands on my arms after he sat me on the closed toilet were keeping me grounded enough to stay present.
“Breathe, Rhys,” he said again. This time he moved his hand to my neck, squeezing ever so slightly. I gasped, clinging to him, my eyes wide.Oh, I really wasn’t breathing.He ran his fingers through my hair, pressing feather-light kisses to my forehead as I gulped, my lungs thanking the sweet lord for relief. “There you go, good boy.” My body warmed at his words and even though he was a year younger than me, he could fucking swallow my entire form with a mere hug. A hug I desperately needed right now. “Now, tell me what happened.”
I fumbled for the right words, my brain clearing of the fog the longer his hands remained on me. This shit was what I had been missing. The intimacy of touch. “He came in trying to apologize and I tried throwing him out but he said he’s coming back.”
Gianni grunted at that statement, his fingers stilling in my hair before continuing their soothing rotation. “I’ll change the locks. And your cheek? Did he hit you?”
I shook my head, willing the tears to stay at bay. I didn’t mind Gianni knowing about Owen but having people know that I was literally terrified of cheese? No thanks.
“Rhys, you don’t have to be ashamed in front of me. You know that,” he soothed before kissing my forehead again. “I want you to take a shower and then crawl into bed, alright? I’ll clean up the living room and change your locks after I grab some tools.”
Gianni always knew when I needed a little extra comfort versus when I needed not to think, when I needed him to make the decisions, and for me to just follow through. Like now, I needed nothing more than to be told everything would be alright and that all I had to do was curl up under a blanket and block out the world.
I thought about asking him to come to bed with me but the relationship we had before had been born out of convenience. He lived next door and we both had demons to bury. Why he even bothered helping me now was beyond my understanding but I didn’t question it. I was grateful for the help, giving him a simple nod. I hoped for more than the gentle kisses but knowing that without a conversation, I couldn’t expect anything out of Gianni.
Then again, he was here, promising to take care of me. Again.
The heat in his eyes was still there, the lust that grew hot and heavy, and the passion that burned brightly between us. It had never left and I didn’t know what to do with that. There was this silent, unspoken statement but we couldn’t fall back into the old ways. My therapist told me that I needed to try new things, things outside my comfort zone, and well, Gianni was safe. He always had been and always would be.
He granted me a tight smile before leaving me alone in the bathroom. My gaze followed him out into the hallway before I gathered enough strength to strip and take a shower. Wishing he was in here with me told me that my therapist was right. I needed to stop relying on my crutches, however, I was never giving up math. Or sweets. Ever.
Chapter four
GIANNI
It took everything in me not to track that motherfucker down and rip him limb from limb for messing with Rhys. Although we had never defined what we were, Rhys Knight held a special place in my heart—because he was the sweetest thing that had ever stepped foot on the face of this earth.
A job brought me to the house that rested beside his but fuck if I wasn’t immediately distracted by the lean body of an intelligent soul. He hid behind his numbers but when I pushed past that? He was more than that. He was warm and funny and downright dirty. The things he let me do to him when he needed a release were things I still fantasized about.
I started hoping for him to show up on my doorstep more often, wanting more than to just touch him. I wanted to kiss him and hold him and spend nights watching movies while he devoured a box of the local bakery’s fresh macadamia nut cookies or a bag of marshmallows. No one would ever know the turmoil that sweet Rhys was constantly dealing with beneath all the sugar and numbers he surrounded himself with.
If I had been honest with myself, I might have realized I was in love with him long before it was appropriate to tell him. That love never died out and it was one reason I needed Owen to hurt. Not die, though. Death was too easy a punishment for someone like him. He had broken Rhys’ lighthearted soul and I still couldn’t figure out the reason why. Owen didn’t seem like a man who did things ‘just because’.
Guilt crept in, though, for how I had magically shown up when Rhys needed me. I truly had been in the neighborhood, on a jog, but it was more to see if Rhys had been home. I couldn’t deny my feelings for him or the lingering fear that his ex still hadn’t gotten it into his thick skull that things were over. I had been right and despite my destructive behavior, I wasn’t going to regret picking that lock.
I moved into the living room, grimacing at the disarray. Rhys hadn’t given me enough details to really know what set him off but I knew that Owen’s presence in and of itself was a trigger. Something Rhys had been dealing with on his own for who knew how long. I knew he hated involving the police, which was another reason why I had picked the lock rather than calling for help. Rhys could hate me later for it.
I began fixing the pillows and gathering a few lingering pieces of paper. Rhys would never be so goddamn untidy so I knew that the mess wasn’t his. To be safe though, I folded them and placed them in a trash bag of their own.
Next is the kitchen.
