Page 25 of They Were Roommates

“We haven’t even started dating, D, and you’re already trying to break us up?”

Diego took a step back and gave an annoyed huff. “We have to be reasonable and… and rational, Franklin. We’ll be living together, owning, and running a start-up business together. You heard Obie. It’s going to be long hours and stress and—”

“Actually, I talked to Obie and Seth about that tonight. I went over to ask if I was being stupid, prepared to hear there was absolutely no reason to pine after you when I already had so much of you. Your time, your space in our apartment, your career in our business… how could I ask for your love too.” Frankie wrapped his arms around himself, gripping his elbows and staring down at the water droplets on the floor.

“And… what did they say?” Diego asked. A part of him desperately wanted their friends to be the voice of reason. To tell them it wasn’t worth it, that it was too much, too stressful, too dangerous.

“Well, they said it wasn’t really my right to decide what you would and wouldn’t give me. So, Obie told me to ask you.”

Diego smiled. “By shoving your tongue down my throat?”

Frankie rolled his shoulders as if in pain and didn’t smile back. Diego frowned and reached for him again. It was like a game of tug of war he was playing only with himself. Frankie came all too willingly, curling into Diego’s chest, and fisting his hands in the back of Diego’s shirt, perhaps to keep him from pulling away again.

“Obie did say that starting a business is incredibly hard. He had only just started dating Seth when he opened the tattoo parlor, and he said it was really hard on both of them. They were constantly working opposite hours, and Obie was always stressed and busy. But Seth said he wouldn’t have given up the time they spent together for the world. He even said several times he had almost wished he’d gone into business with Obie, so they at least could have been struggling together.”

Diego leaned his head onto Frankie’s shoulder. One of the most frustrating parts of being trans for him was how damn short he was. He wanted to tower over Frankie and be able to cradle him in his arms, protecting him from the world. Frankie always seemed to stand with a hunch. When they sat together on the couch he would curl into a small ball, fitting himself into Diego’s arms or into his lap. Would they fit together just as easily in bed? Frankie was soft against Diego’s leg, but Diego felt himself begin to stiffen and he pressed his crotch into Frankie’s thigh.

Frankie let out a startled gasp and jerked his head to the side to look into Diego’s eyes. “You’re sending me sort of mixed messages, D.”

“I think it’s all the same message. I want you. I’ve always wanted you. But I’m scared. I’m scared this is going to be too much for us. That people are going to find out we’re dating and there’s going to be so much pressure and expectations on top of the stress of a new business and a new relationship and we’ll shatter… taking down the cafe, Obie’s investment, possibly their friendship, and each other in the process.”

Frankie buried his face into the crook of Diego’s neck. He felt wetness there and he turned to catch Frankie's tears with his lips. “Ohquerido,please don’t cry.”

This time it was Frankie who tried to pull away. “Please don’t call me that if you don’t mean it. Don’t… don’t call me anything ever again if you don’t mean it. I can’t…” Frankie frantically wiped at his face and yanked out of Diego’s arms.

“You’re so worried that we’ll try this thing out, and it won’t work, and then we’ll break? Well, I just tore my fucking heart and threw it at your feet, D. If you don’t pick it up it’s just going to stay there, and I’ll just keep walking around without it and try not to break.”

Frankie fled from the room. Before Diego could respond, he heard scrabbling at the front door, and then the sound of the door slamming shut.

Chapter5

Frankie

Frankie knewhe was overstaying his welcome, but he didn’t know what else to do. It had been three days and he hadn’t heard anything from Diego.

“Do you want to bake something?” Seth asked hesitantly from where he was standing in the kitchen nervously wringing his hands as he looked between Obie and Frankie.

No, he really didn’t want to bake anything, but he was a guest now, and if Seth wanted to bake with him, he’d do it.

“Do you want something in particular?” Frankie asked, trying to force a bit of life into his voice.

“I really like those guava pastries. I know the last time we talked, you were trying to put some sort of cream cheese mixture into them. I still have some of the canned guava and we always have pastry ingredients, so maybe we could…” Seth trailed off, possibly having noticed Frankie’s pain.

“How about you make something with chocolate? That always cheers Seth up,” Obie suggested. He cast his husband a pitying glance.

“If you don’t want to bake, we don’t have to. I just thought… maybe it would help.” Seth looked so dejected. Frankie couldn’t help but go to him. They met in the middle of the kitchen and Frankie folded himself into his arms. Frankie wasn’t short by any means, but Seth was quite tall, and easily enveloped Frankie in his lanky embrace.

He couldn’t believe it had only been 72 hours since he was standing in his own kitchen hoping his world was about to change. Well, it sure had changed, just not for the better. Maybe this kitchen would be his again if things didn’t work out and Diego kicked him out of the apartment.

Frankie and Seth moved around the kitchen effortlessly. They had months of practice reading each other’s movements and subtle cues. It made them the perfect baking partners, even if Seth could barely make peel n’ bake cookies. He was a great helper though, handing Frankie exactly what he needed almost before he even asked.

Once the triple chocolate chunk cookies were in the oven, Frankie made a beeline back for the couch, which had become his haven. The guest bedroom, as Seth and Obie were now calling it, was open and available for use, but something about sleeping in his old room just seemed like giving up. So instead, he’d been curling up on the couch each night, his head in Seth’s lap and feet in Obie’s, grateful not to be alone.

He was just about in position to swan dive into the luscious cushions when a soft knock sounded at the door. Frankie tried not to overreact, but when all Obie and Seth did was stare at him, he sprinted for the door. He pawed at the lock, and nearly hit himself in the face as he yanked it open.

Diego stood there looking soft and sad, a look Frankie had been seeing a lot of lately. Come to think of it, Diego had been wearing the same expression every time Frankie came home from Seth and Obie’s place as well as when he had been ripping Frankie’s heart out Saturday night.

“Hi… can I… come in?” he asked. His fingers twitched at his side like he wanted to reach for Frankie but couldn’t. While part of Frankie desperately needed to touch this man, his best friend, roommate, business partner, and entire future, he thought it would be better if he didn’t.

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