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I want to ask how his date went, but something tells me not to.
Instead, Jewel jumps out of her seat. “Arthur, seeing as you asked, Livvydoeshave something to share,” she says with an evil glint.
Oh for cripe’s sake. “Jewel, really?” I cry.
Arthur cuts me off, grabbing my forearms with a death grip. “Tell me!” he shrieks.
“Arthur, you’re hurting me—”
“She kissed the guys next door,” Jewel blurts.
Arthur drops my arms and takes a step back, staring at me with wide eyes and an open mouth. “Oh… my…” he says after a minute, his eyes tearing up.
Is he for real?
I think I’ve landed on an alien planet where all the people are crazy and I’m the only normal one, which isn’t good, because that means, when it comes down to it, I am the odd one out. The true weirdo. Even though I am actually, truly normal.
“My dear Livvy,” Arthur says, wiping at a tear. “I’m so… so happy for you. I… I knew you had it in you.” His voice breaks up.
Oh my God.
“You both need to chill the hell out. It was a one-time thing and it won’t happen again.”
Arthur’s head snaps back. “And why not?”
I shrug. “I’m not their type. And I don’t like them anyway.”
Okay, no one’s going to believe that lie, least of all Jewel and Arthur.
“Why?” he snaps. “What do you mean you’renot their type? Have you looked in the mirror lately? You’re gorgeous, my girl.”
Jewel nods in agreement, and I wonder if they’ve both been consuming edibles this afternoon.
“Whatever, you guys,” I say, waving my hand.
They look at each other and I know I’m about to be ganged up on. I brace myself.
“Livvy, you’ve got gorgeous blonde curls, long legs, a great ass, and if I do say so myself, nice tits,” he says.
Oh my God. My tits again?
“I think you’re crazy but thank you all the same. You are true friends.”
Arthur brings his hands up to the sides of his face. “You know how I getfeelingsabout things?” With air quotes around ‘feelings’, he turns to Jewel. “You know this about me, right?”
She nods enthusiastically. “Absolutely.”
They once took a course together on following their intuition to illuminate one’s path in life. Or something like that.
Arthur takes my hand in both of his. “It will happen again, honey. I know it.”
His phone buzzes and he drops my hand. “Oh, well, look at that. I gotta run, ladies. Kisses!” He heads for the door like his ass is on fire.
“Hey, where are you going? You know my secret now. What about yours?” I call after him.
He smiles at me like I’m an idiot. “Some girls keep their secrets.” He blows me a kiss and is off.
Funny guy, that Arthur, thinking the bistro boys would be interested in me.
