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I scoff. “I’ll say.”
“My mistake wasn’t marrying you, Sophia, it was not getting divorced from the woman I haven’t considered my wife in years. A piece of paper tied me to her and that’s it. My heart, my vows, everything I am and have belongs to you.” He scoots closer. “I love you. No one else, onlyyou.”
Butterflies flutter in my stomach and my heart squeezes. Is this for real? Does he really love me?
I decide there’s only one way to find out.
“Tell me everything that you’ve been hiding from me. I need to know the truth.”
He nods. “I will do anything you ask of me, except walk away. I’ll fight for you. If that means baring my soul to you, then let’s start there.”
Roman takes a minute to gather his thoughts before he launches into his story.
“I was fresh out of college when I met Olivia at a party. She was nineteen, vivacious, and I instantly fell in love. Or so I thought at the time. We had a whirlwind year together before tying the knot. Shortly thereafter, everything went to shit.
“Back then, Nikolai Kozlov and I ran in some of the same circles. I was the one who introduced him and Olivia over a game of poker. She took him for all he was worth that night, but instead of being upset, Kozlov became infatuated with Olivia.
“She grew distant, and at some point I caught on to what was going on between them. As soon as I confronted Kozlov, he gave her up, because he never loved her, she was just another notch on his bedpost. But Olivia had fallen in love with him.”
My heart twists hearing him tell his story. That level of betrayal makes me sick to my stomach, and I have a feeling this tale’s only going to go from bad to worse.
The birds merrily chirping in the trees are a stark contrast to Roman’s painful story. The warm summer breeze oddly chills my skin.
“Olivia wanted a divorce, which I wouldn’t give her because no one in my family divorces. Plus, foolishly, I desperately hoped she’d fall back in love with me and forget Kozlov. But she didn’t. She was heartbroken that he washed his hands of her and was completely inconsolable.
“Then she found out she was pregnant with his child. Even then I wouldn’t let her go. She was a couple months along when one night we were arguing on the staircase landing. I was over it, so I started up the stairs, and she turned away to go down. She must have tripped, I don’t know. But I wasn’t within reach to catch her, and she fell all the way down. She lost the baby.”
Oh my God. Hearing Roman’s version, the sorrow in his voice, tells me everything I need to know. Of course Roman wouldn’t push her down the stairs.
Guilt punches me in the stomach. How could I ever have thought he’d done something so terrible?
Nik is a manipulative liar. I can’t believe I listened to him and fell for his twisted lies. I’m ashamed that I let him poison me against Roman.
He continues in a more distant tone of voice. “After that is when she started trying to kill herself. Eventually, she put her life in so much danger that I had her locked away in a mental hospital where she’s remained ever since. The day I delivered her the divorce papers is the first time I’ve seen her since I dropped her off there seven years ago.
“Over the years, I’ve been waiting for a chance to get back at Kozlov. He ruined not only my life, but hers, and I wanted vengeance. When your father told me about his plans to marry you to Kozlov, I saw my opportunity to strike. I’d been compiling blackmail material on him for years, but I wanted to hit him in the ego, to wound his pride by making my revenge much more personal. You were the perfect piece. So, I took you from him.”
For the first time since he started talking, he glances over at me. Remorse shines in his eyes.
“My plan for you was terrible, but I won’t go into the details unless you want them. I saw you as my enemy because of your association with Kozlov. That’s how I justified what I was going to do to you. But then you turned my world upside down.”
He angles towards me, his fingertips lightly brush the back of my hand. “You shone a light on my loneliness, and the anger and hurt I’d been carrying around for years, festering like an untended wound. But you also breathed new life into my heart. When we were together, I started to forget about Olivia, and Kozlov, and my revenge plans. I didn’t care about any of them anymore. You captured all of me, Sophia.”
I turn my hand over and our fingers entwine. At the contact, his shoulders visibly relax, and my thundering pulse settles.
“At any point along the way, I should have stopped and settled my business with Olivia, but I was blinded by my ego. I thought I could have my revenge on Kozlov, keep Olivia locked away in a kind of purgatory, and have it all with you. It was wrong of me to marry you when I had no right to do so. I never meant to hurt you, I only ever wanted to have everything with you.”
My insides swoop and dive as he does, in fact, bare his soul to me. He’s an open book. In him, I see all his unspoken words too, how much those in his past hurt him, and how those scars run deep.
“I’m sorry.” He sucks in a shaky breath. “Over the last month, I’ve dealt with my past and lain it to rest. I’m a free man now. More importantly, I’ve gained clarity. You see, I thought I’d fallen in love with Olivia, but I didn’t know what love was until I met you. Every past emotion I’ve experienced pales in comparison to what I feel for you every single day. I will never let you down again if you will take a chance on me, one more time.”
“Where would we even start?” I ask.
All I want to do is leap into his arms, but I’ve been through too much.
Hope shines in his eyes and he scoots close enough that our knees touch. “We’d start over. This can be the first day that we meet.”
“I don’t know, if that’s the case, I’m thinking of dating for a while and I’m not looking for anything exclusive.” It’s true. It’s the promise that I made myself. One that I feel I’m ready to go back on for Roman.
