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I take a minute to do the mental tally of just how long Mom has been gone, arriving at just overfive weeks.
I don’t have my old cell to check my app, but I’m reasonably sure I would have been due to get a Depo shot before I’d arrived at Rogue. Surely, sometime in the week that I’d spent in the hospital.
But with everything that’s gone on, I forgot to make a new appointment.
I’m blinking like crazy, my brain on overdrive as I grab a pregnancy test from the stock in my best friend’s cabinet, knocking the rest before I stride uncaringly from the room.
My feet take me to the spare room where I vaguely note my luggage at the foot of the bed as I close the door behind me. My heart is palpitating when I enter the ensuite to rip open the box containing the test with shaking hands.
“Oh God, oh shit.”
The words are on repeat as I rip open the wrapper and slide the white stick into my hand.
Before I can question myself and my sanity, I tug down my leggings and panties to hover over the toilet seat, the stick poised between my quaking thighs.
When I’m done, I cap the test and set it face down on the side of the sink.
I look up to find my eyes in the mirror as I wash my hands and watch myself for what feels like long minutes as a host of thoughts fly around my mind.
How long does it take the Depo to leave your system?
What are the chances of conception in the three weeks we’ve been intimate?
What would Vaughn say if I was pregnant?
But the resounding one is, do Iwantto be pregnant?
I turn off the tap, dry my hands, and read the instructions on the box.
Two lines mean I’m pregnant. And why do I suddenly feel disappointed at the thought of there only being one?
I expel a breath as I flip over the little white stick.
Time to find out.
My brow puckers, and my shoulders sag to find one pale blue line. I swallow down my disappointment as I drop the negative test back onto the counter and make my way to the bedroom, more confused than ever before.
CHAPTER36
WREN
Elodie’s door is closed when I pass her room on my way to the kitchen. It’s not even 8 a.m., but I can’t sleep, my mind too full of thoughts.
I grab an iced tea from the refrigerator and slide onto a stool at the kitchen island as the early morning sunshine peeks through the blinds.
The sound of the city below fills my ears, and I smile, thinking it’s something I’ve grown to love in my time here. Something I don’t want to take for granted.
Something I want to listen to every morning.
My mind wanders to Vaughn’s revelations from yesterday, tears prickling my eyes as I relive the horror of his words. The devastation of my father’s final breath.
The horrible twist of fate that tore a good man from both our lives.
The needless guilt Vaughn has carried inside of himself for twentyyears. Believing himself to be some kind of villain because of circumstances beyond his control.
My heart breaks for him, having lived such a lonely life all this time.
And I simply can’t imagine how my mother must have felt. Pregnant and alone. Her soulmate ripped from her at what should have been the happiest time of her life.
