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“Fucking tons. Mostly that I’m an arsehole for being such a shit to him. There’s a few suggesting we try again, but there’s thousands in here, Ashley, I could be here for days.”
He sighed. “It doesn’t matter. I suppose if Simon isn’t bothered then I shouldn’t be either.”
“No, you’re right to want to protect your friend. I tell you what, I’ll keep close to both him and Robin at the event. If someone does come and challenge Simon I’ll step in, although security should be on the case too.”
The offer did make him feel better. “Thanks, I don’t know why I’m like this. It’s probably sleep deprivation.”
“Lack of sleep is one of my kryptonites as well. Although mine’s been for a few nights on a gruelling shooting schedule, yours is more long-term.” He smiled at Davy. “Hopefully when I get to the kids stage, I’ll be prepared.”
Ashley hadn’t thought Dorian would be the type to want children. “Somehow I’ve never pictured you as a father.”
“There’s lots of things I never thought I’d be. But I’ve always liked kids… never had the conversation with Robin though. He’d always been rather lukewarm on the topic.”
“Oh.” From what Simon had told him, Ashley hadn’t got that impression.
Dorian cocked his head. “I gather that’s not your take on it.”
“Simon wants kids. And according to him, Robin has made noises that he’d rather pass the title down directly than to his nephew or nieces.”
Dorian’s expression was difficult to decipher, and Ashley guessed it had been hard to hear that children were something else he’d lost a chance at with Robin.
“They’ll make amazing dads.” Dorian cleared his throat and stood. “Sorry, I’ve just remembered I was supposed to call my lawyer.”
Ashley watched Dorian retreat. He felt a little better with the Simon situation, but a bit of a shit over talking about kids with Dorian. He imagined Dorian had more demons than any of them gave him credit for, and Ashley could probably stand to be a bit more supportive. Davy gurgled and he scooped him up, his warmth a solid comfort that never failed to make him feel better.
CHAPTER15
Dorian used to love the glamour of the red carpet. The thrill of screaming fans and the flashing lights of cameras used to make him feel like he was the most important man in the world. But that belonged to a different life, now he had a growing ball of anxiety in his stomach, he thought he might be sick and he hadn’t even left Crofton Hall yet. A stylist had primped and cooed over him, and he looked as good as any other time he’d got dolled up to meet the public but he couldn’t stop his hands shaking.
Alex popped his head around the door of Dorian’s room. “Car’s here, and Robin and Simon are waiting downstairs.”
He let out a loud breath and tried to force down the panic. “Thanks.”
Alex took a few steps closer. “Dorian, are you all right?”
He scrunched his eyes shut for ten seconds and balled his hands into fists, his perfectly manicured nails digging into his palms. “Just a sec.”
When he opened his eyes Alex was crouching in front of him. “It’s okay to be worried.”
Alex had been great arranging everything for tonight, not letting him faff or change things. But that was nothing compared to when he’d gone through his email, prioritised the stuff that could cause the biggest messes and set him on an even keel—he couldn’t have asked for more. On top of that, Alex was such a nice bloke. Cute too, but he got the sense he wasn’t the type to mix business with pleasure and Dorian knew to respect boundaries. “It’s all come sooner than I thought. And this is my first proper venture into public since I came out.”
“The statement we released onto your website has set the scene, you’ll be here to support the cast and crew, and thank everyone for the space—so don’t worry.” He squeezed Dorian’s hand before standing. “Remember, you’re not going to be out there on your own. I know you thought this would be supporting Robin and Simon, but the reality is they’ll be an important crutch for you. Lean on them.”
Alex seemed to know the right things to say, he was so self-assured and Dorian trusted his judgement even though they’d not known each other long. “I don’t want everything to be about me anymore.”
“It’s going to take a while before that stops happening and you are going to a premiere of a movie you’re starring in, so not an easy ask for today.” Alex reached out and straightened his tie. “That’s better, the knot was on the wonk.”
He wasn’t sure he’d heard that correctly. “Say what now?”
“Your tie wasn’t right. Really, Dorian, by your age you should be able to cope with a Windsor knot. Now come on.”
Alex was heading out and Dorian couldn’t remember the last time someone had left him lost for words. He realised his hands weren’t shaking anymore and he no longer felt like he’d throw up, so whatever healing balm Alex produced he wanted more of it. Maybe he could persuade him to spend some time with him that had nothing to do with his schedule, or getting him sorted. He’d really love to get to know Alex better. He hurried after him.
Robin and Simon were waiting in the entrance hall. He’d seen Robin dressed up to the nines, and he looked amazing in a dark wool suit, but it was Simon who surprised him. In his three-piece slate grey bespoke number, Simon would not be out of place on the red carpet, in fact, he’d be the talk of the town. As a couple they were glorious. “Gentlemen, don’t you scrub up well,” he said as he approached.
“You’re all simply perfect,” Alex said, herding them towards the door. “Your carriage awaits and will turn into a pumpkin at ten forty-five if you’re not ready to leave.”
Dorian hadn’t wanted to attend the after-show party but had offered the chance to Robin, who had declined. “If you want to stay later it can still be arranged.”
