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Dorian didn’t want to lie to Robin, their relationship was rebuilding into one of a close friendship and if he withheld something serious, Robin would never forgive him.
“How about I put a positive spin on anything I feed back? He’s smart enough to pick up on a hint and if he presses, I’ll direct him to talk to you.”
Simon began to walk down towards the lawn, his movements were slow and considered, as if testing out every step. “Deal. Although he’ll be super suspicious you even agreed to do this.”
“I was surprised Ashley asked. I’m assuming there wasn’t anyone else available.”
“You’re probably not used to being a last resort,” Simon said, flashing him a rueful grin.
“That’s true, but this is because things could be a bit odd between us.”
Simon snorted. “Why because we’ve both slept with the same man? It’s not like Robin left you for me, or cheated on you.”
“It’s a bit more than that though. We’ve both been in love with Robin—that’s different than fucking about together, otherwise things would be as equally odd with Ben.”
They ambled across the lawn, Dorian suspecting Simon wanted to get the awkward conversations out of the way as soon as possible. “If you think Ashley’s not funny about that then you’re delusional. But I do agree that between us it’s different.”
He’d known Ashley had been a bit concerned about how close Ben was to Dorian and Robin but thought that had passed. “What happened with Ben is ancient history. And Ben’s never going to risk losing Ashley, he’s never been happier.”
“None of it’s rational. Ashley over you and Ben. Robin over me… you over me and vice versa. The brain is basically a wobbly anxiety machine.”
“You did ask me if I still wanted Robin… you said you’d step away if I did.”
“Yes, see stupid brain. I know Robin loves me, but we were having a wibble over stuff that happened in the US, and I didn’t want to be someone’s second choice.” He shrugged. “He’s almost gone too far the other way now.”
Robin leaving him was still more of an open wound than Dorian allowed himself to dwell on and it wasn’t that he wanted him back any longer—more that he’d not seen it coming, or he’d been too bullish to think Robin could be constantly put off. “Once Robin had made up his mind to leave, there was no going back. It took me a while to accept it, but he wouldn’t have left you to return to me.”
“Maybe not you, but another. At the time, I was also worried he might find someone better in New York. I know what happened with Marco wasn’t instigated by Robin, but he won’t be the last.”
Until recent events, he wouldn’t have been able to say that Robin wouldn’t have left Simon for someone else, but now that was different. “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I’m actually quite jealous.”
“I don’t think you need to be jealous of me.”
“I’m not, it’s Robin I’m jealous of. He’s found himself the perfect guy for him. You’re with him because he’s Robin. Not his name, or money. You were willing to put his needs first, even if it meant losing him, and you’re a decent bloke. If I find someone like you, then I’ll be a very lucky man.”
“Thanks, I think.” Simon gave him a calculated look. “Are you wanting to settle down? I know you’ve the thing with Alex going on, but afterwards will you be actively seeking a long-term partner?”
“Yeah. I miss having someone in my life. Alex has been great, and he’s making me realise that I am missing that side of things.” Dorian smiled to himself as he remembered Alex refusing to let him leave the office that afternoon until he knew the schedule for their date.
“Or given that look… why not just see if Alex will date you for real?”
Dorian stumbled over his own feet and only just gained his balance to prevent himself from hitting the grass. “What?”
Simon winked at him. “You and Alex. I know it might have started in an unconventional manner, but he almost literally made you fall arse over tit.”
“No, I mean he is really nice guy. And kinda cute. But it’s not on the cards.”
“Younger, blond and bossy… do you consider yourself to have a type, Mr Forbes?”
“You’re not the only one to have mentioned that.” He shoved his hands into his pockets and let out a huff. “But I know that whatever I’m feeling at the moment is from gratitude for his help. I think we could be good friends, but nothing more.”
“Okay.”
Dorian frowned. “Okay? You’re not going to keep pushing?”
“Why would I? It’s your life, Dorian. I get the sense you’ve always had someone telling you what they think is best. I’ve no right to do that, and I wouldn’t even if I did.”
They carried on walking, Dorian a little thunderstruck at Simon’s attitude. “I bet you don’t back down to Robin so easily.”
