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His argument was weak, and I met his eyes again.
“Is that really why?” I asked quietly. “You’re worried about public opinion?”
Gently, he unhooked my fingers from his arm, and now it was he who turned away. “No. That’s not really why,” he admitted. “I also believe that Agnan did a number on you. I don’t think that you fully acted of your own volition. It doesn’t forgive what you did, but I can’t kill you… not in good conscience, anyway.”
He looked away before I could read his expression, and my heart soared.
He cares about me. I just need him to see—
“Get her to the north wing,” Zen called out, stalking away. “And send Calliver to my chambers in thirty minutes. I suspect we’re about to have a major security problem.”
I was flanked on either side and marched toward the castle as my heart broke more watching Zen storm away without a backward glance. The harsh reality of my predicament slapped me brutally in the face then.
I was never going to see him again, was I?
But why was this surprising? It was only confirmation of something Agnan had already told me since the day he’d found me. I was worthless, a nothing orphan, meant to live in the shadows.
I’d been a silly, stupid child to imagine that I could’ve ever been queen, and that someone as perfect as King Zen of Silverhold could ever really truly love the real me.
Chapter7
Mirielle
The first thing I did when I returned to my old suite, Zen’s mother’s rooms before that, was head to the small bar fridge she kept there and down two bottles of water as a female guard stood in the corner, looking uncomfortable.
Her name was Isa, and she didn’t seem to know what to do with herself, a plight I could relate to. What Zen had asked of her was not part of the job description, I was sure. No guard in the history of the Royal Guards had ever been asked to sit in a royal suite before and watch the occupant.
I cast her a sidelong look, unsure of what to do with her, but I didn’t want to make her life any more difficult than it already was.
“You can sit down if you want,” I offered, gesturing to one of the wing chairs in the corner of the bedroom. “I’m just going to shower and probably go to sleep for a bit.”
Isa shifted her weight and offered me a meek smile. I could tell she wasn’t sure if she was supposed to be nice to me or not.
“No, Miss Mirielle. I can stand. The king wouldn’t like to know I was sitting.”
I smothered a sigh. “No one is going to tell him,” I promised.
But she remained in place, next to the door separating the sitting room from the bedroom, and I retreated into the bathroom for a shower.
“Please leave the door ajar, Miss Mirielle,” Isa called out.
I flushed in humiliation, but I didn’t argue, leaving the door open. I didn’t believe that Isa was going to come looking in on me, but it was mortifying all the same.
Why did he even care? He said I could leave if I wanted. Why was he going through all the trouble of keeping an eye on me if he didn’t care if I left?
The answer seemed fairly simple: once I did go, he was going to have a tail on me to make sure I didn’t come back. And as long as I was in the castle, he wanted to know where I was at all times.
Thick steam filled the bathroom, and for half a second, I contemplated shifting and scurrying out under Isa’s nose, anyway, but then I would just be confirming all of Zen’s fears about me. I suddenly had déjà vu of the first day that Zen had found me, terrified with amnesia in the woods. I’d been scared then, a little voice urging me to leave. But everything had worked out okay.
That was before Zen found out who I was. Before I found out who I was. Things weren’t going to be okay this time. This time, I should listen and go.
But like that first trip into the castle, I ignored the inner voice and continued to do what I’d said I would.
Stepping into the almost scalding water, I let the liquid run over me, embracing every one of my naked curves to wash the past day away. I wished it could erase the past twenty-four hours entirely, swirling it down the drain to be lost forever in the sewers where it belonged.
Mingling with the few tears I had left in me, my head pounded, and dizziness overtook me as I allowed it all to drip away, the rainfall showerhead and side nozzles missing nothing.
“Miss? Are you all right in there?”
