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Or that’s what Agnan had us believe. Maybe he killed them.I shuddered to think of what he had done with them if that wasn’t true. I had never considered that he lied about them before now.
“But there’s something about you that he likes,” Endora pressed. “Were you lovers?”
I tensed, biting on my lower lip. “No,” I muttered. “It wasn’t like that.”
A hot blush painted my face as I thought of all the times that Agnan had walked in on me in the shower, or I’d woken to find him watch me sleeping. But he had never touched me, not the way he had some of the others.
“He wants something from you, Mirielle. And he has for a long time,” Endora said slowly. “You have an incredible gift for handling plants, but I don’t know if that’s what it is.”
The thoughtfulness in her eyes worried me. “I think we need to dig deeper. Let’s find out where you come from.”
Suddenly, I wished I hadn’t brought it up. Was it too late to refuse?
But what was I afraid of? What could I possibly learn about myself? I’d been an orphan since the age of seven. What could Agnan have wanted from a poor, family-less child?
“We’ll do it tomorrow,” Endora informed me as if I had already agreed. “Give yourself time to rest for today, since you’ve already had a session.”
I exhaled in relief for that. It would give me a chance to talk it over with Zen before I allowed Endora into those dark recesses of my mind, places that I hadn’t explored myself.
The door opened, and Endora vanished as Zen entered. “Miri!”
He was happy to see me, even if I was completely distracted now. I hurried into his arms, eager to feel his strong embrace against me.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I promised him, dropping my head back to look at him. “How was cabinet today?”
“Same as every day,” he chuckled, letting me go to put his briefcase down. “Any breakthroughs with Endora yet?”
I turned away so that he couldn’t read my expression, but I wasn’t fast enough.
“Miri?”
“She thinks that the darkness is gone, but we need to run more tests,” I admitted honestly.
“That’s not all, though, is it?”
I shook my head and pivoted back toward him, grimacing. “She wants to do a deeper probe into my history. Further back, before I met Agnan.”
“For what?” Zen was perplexed.
“She thinks that whatever inspired Agnan to find me in the first place is linked to my childhood somehow.”
He placed his hands on my shoulders and offered me a soft smile. “You look so worried, but this is what we want, isn’t it? To find out what drives Agnan and stop him—and the Order—permanently?”
I nodded. “Yes…”
“But?”
“But I’m scared of what we might find.”
Understanding flooded his face as Zen gathered me into his arms and kissed the top of my head. “You don’t need to be,” he reassured me. “As long as I’m here with you, nothing is going to happen. You trust me, right?”
“With all my heart.”
“Good.” He kissed me again and stared into my eyes. “Whatever you might find, we’ll overcome it together, okay?”
I nodded.
