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I did not want to consider the alternative. That Lucas wanted to leave sat heavily in my stomach, the unhappy revelation buzzing in my head like a swordfly.
No matter. I would simply have to entice him to stay.
It should not be hard. Thorzan was beautiful. Our planet provided all that we needed, and our people honored and celebrated individual accomplishment. My Lucas was too small, too soft, to become a warrior, but there was much else he could give our people, even beyond the incomparable gift of a future.
“You will find comfort here in the palace, with me,” I told him, guiding him all the while through the colonnade to my room. “We have many luxuries. Plentiful delights. You will see.”
The door to my room was made of stone, difficult to breach, but a pad was built into the wall beside it. With a touch of my palm, it slid open.
“This is my place,” I told Lucas as he lingered in the doorframe to the large, open room. There were no kitchens here, as servants provided for the whole palace, but many tables, a large bed, and a place to bathe. “You are welcome here always.”
On the far side of the room, archways opened up to a balcony that looked over the jungle. It was a steep drop, down from the palace to the waterfall below. My people had built here, on the top of a cliff, to protect ourselves from the beasts that lurked below.
He stayed shocked and silent, frozen in place until I took him by the shoulders and walked him inside. His muscles were tense. He was afraid to be here, amidst luxury, alone with me.
My fingers flexed on his arms in my desire to comfort him, but my touch only made him catch his breath. I did not know how to help. At once, he seemed to want me near and to tear himself away.
I would give him gifts! That would please him.
Letting him go, I crossed to a near seat and lifted a cloth of silk. “It is soft. There are Thorzi who have tamed the spikdari to harvest their threads. This comes from the largest, most vicious of monsters. You may use it if you like. And the cushions are stuffed with fur from the nondti. You will find them comfortable.”
I brought him the blanket, and he took it in his hands, clutching it close.
“Um, great. So, I’ve been wearing the same clothes for almost two weeks now, and, like, is there something I could change into, maybe?”
“Yes!” Stars bless us, he had asked me for something. I would provide for him.
Only—only Thorzi did not clothe themselves as humans did. Our tops remained uncovered to show off our marks.
Once, it had been a matter of ease. The Thorzi were all as one—one people, one gender. But revolutions ago, we had Thorzi warriors, like Jax and my father and me, and we had Thorzi mages. Mates.
When a warrior would find his mate, it would awaken his dormant power and theirs. His mage would touch a warrior’s marks and spread his gifts.
If they could not reach our marks to activate them, then the marks were no good. But now the mages were gone, and uncovering our marks was only for show.
At my bedside, there was a short robe, a garment I wore when the weather was hot and the air sticky, when I lounged in my room alone or with trusted friends. I brought it to my Lucas.
“For now, will this satisfy?”
Lucas stared at it for a moment. His eyes drifted to the open wall on the far side of the room, and he sighed. “Yeah. That’s fine.”
When he took the robe, I reached to help him out of his thick clothing. He flinched, stepping back.
“I can change myself.”
“You can.” I had only wanted to assist him, but he turned away, a red flush creeping up the back of his neck as he took a few steps, moving beyond the chair. He put furniture between us.
I watched as he peeled his jacket off and dropped it on the chair, then his shirt followed. My mother had taught me the dressing names for human clothing when I had asked why she preferred different styles than the Thorzi. When I was young, I had wanted her to uncover her breasts, and she had laughed and pulled me close and said that she was not comfortable with that. Here, my Lucas was uncomfortable, perhaps shy about his chest as well.
There were more layers to his clothing than I had expected. Even with his back to me, I could tell Lucas was slighter than I had imagined, all softness with none of a warrior’s hard, bulging muscles.
I wanted to touch him, to see if he fit my hand. But he kept himself away until he pulled the robe on. It hit him at the knees, far longer on him than it was on me. Even still, when he kicked off his pants, he left on a sparse pair of shorts.
At least he did not seem quite so edgy when he turned back around.
“Is there anything in here that’ll kill me?” he asked.
Guilt stabbed through my chest. He was still so afraid. I had not warned him of the dangers of Thorzi gardens, had not kept him safe from the aleri. He did not trust that I would protect him now.
