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“She flinched.”
Raina sighed. “I know, but that’s true courage. Facing what you want to run from.” She glanced up at him. “I want to be courageous like that.”
“I’d say you’re already there.”
“Ha. I wish.” She shook her head. “I’m terrified of everything,Vince, I’m just very good at hiding it.” She swallowed and Vince reached out to grasp her fingers. Raina met his gaze. “I’ve made up my mind, though. I’m not hiding anymore. I’m scared, but I’m not hiding and I’m not running.”
He’d almost prefer she hide. “Raina, let me just be clear here. If you don’t let me help you, I’m not going to be much good to anyone.”
“What? Why?”
“Because I’ll be too worried about you!”
She groaned, then looked at him with a frown. “You’re not above using guilt trips, I see.”
“It’s not a guilt trip, Raina. It’s just fact.” He sighed. “Look, I don’t want to come across like I’m pushing myself on you or forcing you to let me help, however, I’m here if you need—or want—it.” He paused.
“Thank you. I think.”
“How about we compromise. Let me start by doing something that’s related to my job. Let me try to find Kevin.” He was going to try anyway, but really wanted her on board with this.
“Ugh!” She dropped her head to study her hands. Finally, she looked up and nodded. “Okay, you win, but if you can’t do it using your resources, then I plan to use myself as bait.”
Vince blinked. “I’m sorry, what? I thought you said you were going to use yourself as bait. But that’s crazy, so I must have heard wrong.” Her gaze didn’t waver, so he shook his head. “No way. I don’t think we need to resort to that yet.”
“We?”
“Yes.” He narrowed his eyes at her. “You just agreed to let me help. You’re not doing anything alone, remember?”
She raised a brow and a flash of anger glinted at him before she snuffed it, but her nostrils flared and he realized he’d messed up—especially in light of what she’d just shared with him about her controlling and abusive ex. “Look,” he said, hoping to backtrack. “You’re a big girl and can do what youwant, obviously. It’s not my place to say what you can and can’t do. I misspoke.”
“Yes, you did, but I get where it’s coming from.” She took a sip of water. “It’s okay, really. I’m not the person I was fourteen years ago, and I can stand up to you if I need to. Don’t start walking on eggshells with me.”
She sounded like she meant it. He’d have to trust she did. “Okay, I won’t. I’ve never been very good at that anyway. So, here’s me not walking on eggshells. The whole using-yourself-as-bait thing does have me concerned and I can’t just walk away from that. Not if you really mean it.”
“I know you can’t. And I’m sorry.” She raked a hand over her head. “It might not look like it, but I really am smart enough to know that it’s a dumb idea. I’m just ... desperate.”
“I know that feeling. So desperate you don’t know which way to turn.” Boy, did he. “But don’t let that feeling make you do something you regret.”
“You sound like you speak from experience. Your sister?”
He shrugged. “Yes. And I’ll share more of that story with you someday, but for now, I want you to promise you won’t do anything without running it past me first.” Vince kept his eyes locked on hers, willing her to make the promise. “Please, Raina.”
“Okay, yes. Fine. I promise. I don’t know what setting myself up for bait even looks like at the moment, so it’s a promise I can make.” She pressed her lips together, then rubbed her eyes, smearing her mascara under her bottom lashes.
He smiled, dipped his napkin in his water, and grasped her chin with his left hand.
“I rubbed the mascara wrong, didn’t I?”
“Yep.” He cleaned it up for her but didn’t let go of her chin. Still looking into her eyes, he decided to go for it. “I care about you, Raina.”
Her eyes widened, then softened. “I ... uh ... thank you.” She shifted in her seat. “I think I’m ready to go. You?”
He studied her again, trying to read her, and got nothing. “Sure.” So, that was that. He’d laid his heart on the line and she was running in spite of her vow not to. A different kind of running, true, but running all the same. He’d let her for now.
Once they’d settled the bill, he stood and guided her toward the door, wishing he could read her mind, but she was as closed off as Fort Knox and he didn’t have the key to get in.
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