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“Aunt Kiera,” he asks, looking up at me with wide, innocent eyes. “Do you think Daddy will marry Brienne?”
The zing of shock over the unexpected question renders me momentarily speechless. I know Drake has talked with the kiddos about his feelings for Brienne and there was even a conversation with Brienne included before they moved in about them being a family. But marriage was never discussed, as far as I know.
While I believe Drake will make it official, it’s not my place to tell them that. I pause for a moment, carefully considering my response. This is a delicate topic, one that holds a mix of hope and uncertainty. I smile and gently stroke his hair before answering.
“You know your daddy and Brienne love each other very much, right?” All three boys solemnly nod. “Marriage is a big decision, and I think they’re taking their time to make sure they’re ready.”
Colby, always eager to contribute, chimes in, “Will Brienne be our new mommy then?”
I glance at Tanner, who looks up at me with a mix of curiosity and concern. It seems this is a question they’ve all been wondering about, and I need to address their feelings with care.
“Brienne loves all three of you as much as she loves your dad,” I say, emphasizing my words. “She’s like a mom to you already, right?”
“Just like you are,” Jake points out.
“You are the luckiest kids in the world. You have lots of people who care about you and want the best for you.”
Tanner’s face scrunches up. “What if our real mommy comes back?”
I take a deep breath, realizing the complexity of their young minds trying to make sense of the world. Their birth mom is a drug addict who hasn’t had much to do with them in a very long time. She showed up a few months ago and scared the crap out of them because she was high. Drake has since started proceedings to terminate her rights, but the legal system moves at the speed of molasses.
I gather them closer, wrapping my arms around their small frames.
“If your mommy comes back, it will be something your daddy and Brienne will handle,” I say gently. “You guys haven’t said much about your mom lately. Do you want her to come back?”
“I don’t,” Jake says, no hesitation at all. “She doesn’t love us and she’s so weird.”
“I think your mom has issues that you can’t understand, but deep down, she loves you.” No matter how fucked up Crystal is, I know she loves the boys. I think the drugs make it impossible for her children to be her priority.
The boys exchange glances, absorbing my words. I see the wheels turning in their heads as they process the information.
“I think this is something we should all talk to Daddy and Brienne about. These are all wonderful questions you have.”
Colby and Tanner nod in agreement, their little faces filled with a mixture of innocence and acceptance. Jake looks far too wise to be seven as he says, “I know Daddy will always take care of us.”
As I continue with the bedtime routine, the boys’ questions and curiosities fade into the background, replaced by the comfort of routine and the promise of sweet dreams. I get them all into their respective bunks, using the ladder to pepper kisses on Jake’s and Colby’s cheeks. When I get to the bottom, I tuck Tanner in snugly and boop him on the nose, relishing in the sounds of their giggles.
Best of all are the three little voices calling “I love you” as I walk out the door.
Sighing, I make my way to the kitchen to clean up from dinner. There’s a TV in there so I turn on the game. While I tell myself I’m watching first and foremost because my brother is the goalie, and secondly, because I’m a Titans fan, I find myself mostly looking for Bain. He was traded from the Vengeance, a sought-after first-line defenseman. He’s quickly become the team’s enforcer, doling out punishment with hard hits into the boards and a drop of the gloves for a fight if necessary to protect the forwards.
I hate that I’m compelled to watch him because he should be no more important than any other member of the team. He means nothing to me other than being a man who’s made me see stars twice now. Despite the undeniable chemistry and desire between us, nothing can come of it.
I know this and he knows this, so we’re moving on.
It’s only after I realize I’ve stood at the counter for almost ten minutes without cleaning up because I’m staring at the television to catch a glimpse of Bain that I curse at myself and turn it off. I’ve got to get him out of my head.
♦
“Kiera,” I hearfrom what I think is a faraway place, then someone is shaking my shoulder. I open my eyes to see Brienne hovering over me. “We’re home.”
“Oh… good,” I mumble as I sit up on the couch and rub my eyes.
“Why don’t you go on up to one of the guest rooms? Stay the night.” Brienne heads into the kitchen and I follow her, yawning big. I don’t even remember falling asleep.
“Any problem with the boys getting to bed?” Drake asks. He’s at the refrigerator, pulling out a bottle of beer.
I smile empathetically because I know that’s not a victory beer. I did manage to watch the entire game. “Yeah… they went down fine. I’m sorry about the loss.”
