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It’s not so much that Camden is helping Travis, but it’s the tone of Danica’s voice. Sort of breathy.
Her look is chastising. “He’s just a friend. I’ve known him a long time and Travis knows him. He offered to help him out since Travis is starting youth hockey next week.”
Hmm… maybe I didn’t hear what I wanted to hear. Maybe I want everyone to hook up and have great sex like Bain and me. Or rather, we were having it. Not sure if we will again.
I tease her a bit. “That’s awesome. I have noticed that Camden is unbelievably handsome.”
A myriad of emotions cross Danica’s features. First a cute smile, a silent agreement that she does indeed think Camden’s a hottie, followed by guilt.
My hand wraps around her arm and I give her a gentle squeeze. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you admiring a man for his looks.”
And I know something about this. I’ve taken my fill of Bain in full naked glory and stared unabashedly at him every single time. He’s so damn gorgeous, he constantly has me tingling with desire for him.
Ugh… stop thinking about him.
I’m pulled back into our conversation when Danica says, “I know. And I love you to death for trying to normalize those things for me. Not one other person in my life has ever broached the idea that there could be something for me after Mitch. And I’m not saying that’s Camden… just thank you for reiterating there’s nothing wrong with moving on.”
“There’s not,” I say gently, my smile hopefully giving further validation. “Besides, you’re not really moving away from Mitch. He’ll always be a part of your life. Maybe just consider it, like, you’re opening the door to add to your current life.”
Danica shakes her head slightly. “I’m not ready for that just yet.”
“But there will be a time when you are.”
She inclines her head. “How do I know when it’s appropriate?”
All I have is a helpless shrug. “I expect you’ll just know in your heart.”
Kind of like the way I know that I’ll never be ready for something like that.
CHAPTER 9
Bain
Saturday morning arriveswith a cloud of frustration hanging over me. Lying in my bed, I stare at the ceiling and assess how I’m feeling. Last night’s game was a success—we won against the Minnesota Raiders—but I didn’t feel the normal high I get after a victory. I went out with Camden and Boone to celebrate but my mind kept drifting to Kiera. My vow to push her out of my thoughts by cooling things off isn’t going as planned.
It’s perplexing how we’ve reached this point, but I suspect some dumbassery on my part. We agreed to keep things casual, just friends with benefits. I mean, who the fuck doesn’t love that?
But we’re not exactly taking advantage of it.
I didn’t see her after the Ottawa game three nights ago because I was feeling hemmed in and then she claimed she had plans the next day. I said I had plans the next night and everything just shifted out of whack.
Instead of feeling more grounded and in control by pulling back, it feels like everything is spinning wildly. The biggest spiral I have going on right this very moment as I lie in this bed staring at my ceiling is a very fucking inconvenient need to see Kiera and ask her what in the hell has happened to us. Maybe she’ll have some clarity.
I glance at my phone, hoping for a message from her, but there’s nothing. She said she had plans today, although she didn’t give me a single detail. What we do outside the bedroom is irrelevant, right? We’re fuck buddies and we don’t share those types of things with one another.
Christ… I really want to know what she’s doing today because I would like to see her. To do what, I don’t know. Ideally, it would be to fuck, but things are weird now, so I’m thinking we might need to talk.
Against my better judgment, I make a spontaneous decision. I’m going to her place, uninvited, hoping she’s there. It’s still early—only half past eight—and hopefully her plans for the day haven’t taken her from her house yet.
I roll out of bed, slam a cup of coffee and take a quick shower. I bundle up extra warm because it’s supposed to snow. The heavy precipitation won’t roll in until tonight, but I’m ready in my thick coat, gloves and knit hat if it starts now.
I arrive at Kiera’s doorstep, feeling a mix of nervousness and anticipation. Before things got so off-kilter, I’d normally show up at her door and she’d welcome me with open arms and open legs. I’d whisk her off to bed.
Or a couch.
Or bend her over a counter.
It was all raging hormones and blistering sex, both of us nearly going up in flames every time we were together. It was the perfect relationship, really, and now it’s all messed up.
