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He is going to hang because of me.
I feel fragile, parchment-thin, as though I might shatter.
I fall to my knees and beg, babbling, prostrating myself before the general who is my own source of hope.
“Ah, Jasmine.” He crouches beside me, coaxing me to lift my head. “You are young, Jasmine. These circumstances are extreme. I’m sorry for what has come to bear, but what you ask is impossible.”
Tears stream down my cheeks. “May I go to him?”
He shakes his head.
“Please.” I know I’m pushing my luck, but I don’t care. “Let me see him, I beg you. Let me be with him this last night.” I sob. “Please. Let me see him one last time.”
He sighs heavily. “I will see what I can do.”
* * *
In my short life, I have spent too much time thinking about death. The death of my parents and friends, the death of other bondservants, and my own death. But it seems the Goddess has not done with me and death.
I can do nothing about those deaths past.
Nor can I do anything about Doug.
I have known him but a short time, yet he has left an impression upon me that will stay with me forever. One that I know time will not diminish.
I love him.
With all my heart.
I cannot believe that he has come into my life only to be snatched away to the Goddess’ side. But then I remember that he doesn’t even believe in her. He is an orc, and they favor the old gods. I will not even get to meet him in the afterlife.
I think knowing we will not find each other again in the afterlife cuts the deepest of all.
Fresh tears spill down my cheeks. When I sniffle, the burly orc guard who walks at my side cuts me a glance. “This way,” he says gruffly.
Doug is sitting on a simple cot in the sparse cell, a single high barred window letting in a little moonlight. Hs arms are braced across his knees and his head is down. At the sound of the key rattling in the lock, his head snaps up. The barred metal door swings open, and I step inside.
Doug rises, his face crossing over so many emotions it is hard to make any out. He growls at the guard and makes a shooing motion at me.
He is too late. The door swings shut with a creak, and the key rattles in the lock again. “The lass wants to be with you,” the guard says. “Lord Edwin has given permission. I’ll be back before morning.”
Now that I’m here, I lose all confidence. I stand facing Doug, the huge white orc who has claimed my heart.
The guard’s footsteps fade away.
I don’t move. There is a gap between us far greater than the single pace it would take me to reach him.
A strange sound erupts from his chest, startling me. It is a pitiful sound, like that of a wounded animal. Then he sinks to his knees, gathering me close.
All the tears I have sobbed are nothing compared to the river that escapes me now. I bend and close my arms around him, burying my face in the crook of his neck. As the sobs wrack my body, Doug, my brave white orc, is my steady rock. “Oh, Doug, what have you done?”
He cries out again and holds me tighter. I hate that I shall never know him fully. It is the saddest thing ever that we will never share full intimacy… that I will not become his mate… that I never got to bear him a child.
He lifts me up and takes me over to the small cot, where he sits with his back to the wall and tucks me upon his lap.
I rest my cheek against his chest. I don’t even fight the tears that fall. “I am so sorry for bringing this trouble to you. I hate Trent. I hate that he was mean-spirited. He is gone now. Punished. He will be with the Goddess, and she does not take kindly to men who force their attention upon women. But you, my brave Doug, you have saved me. I wish you believed in the Goddess, for she would think kindly upon you, I am sure.”
He lets out a deep sigh and strokes my hair. I have a headache from all my crying, and his touch is soothing. I want to soak up this moment where I can hear the steady beat of his heart beneath my cheek so that it might sustain me through the cold days to come. How am I to live without my white orc?
