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“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” he asked, reluctantly taking the glass.
“Not exactly. More to adjust your perspective.” I sipped my drink, focusing on the warmth as the alcohol ignited a fire down in my gut.
“I’m glad the worst night of my life was so good for you,” Luke scoffed dryly, and I chuckled.
“In the moment, sure it was the worst. But if you look at it as a whole?” I tilted my head, trying to get Luke to look at me. “The bigger picture is a whole lot prettier, don’t you think?”
“Is it?” Luke tipped the glass back and forth, watching the copper liquid coat the sides of his glass.
“Of course it is! You gained me as a friend for one,” I smiled, “you got to spend time with Ava in the hospital. You learned Flora’s true intentions and gained quality time with your mother that secured her as Grandma of the Year for all three of our rascals. You survived.”
Other than a slight scoff, Luke barely reacted. I bit back a sigh, trying to work out how best to reach him in a way that would stop him from spiraling down. Time to change tactics.
“I was going to propose to Summer,” I declared. “For real.”
Luke’s head snapped up. That got his attention. “What?”
“Yup. I haven’t really given the ‘how’ much in-depth thought but at Christmas, after she patched me up, I realized that in such a short time, she’s brought so much love and light into my life, into Bonnie’s life. And you know Bonnie, she’s usually so shy, but she adores Summer. I want her in my life, in our lives, for as long as possible. I realized I loved her enough that I want to put a real ring on her finger. Not a fake one.” It had been a sudden realization, but my love for her hadn’t faded even when I was consumed with anger that she had brought drugs here.
The love had stayed, and a love like that in the face of such turmoil, was a love I didn’t want to let go.
“I understand how you feel,” Luke said quietly, still tipping his glass back and forth. “I… I realized how deeply I loved her when Marina revealed the truth. My first thought wasno, not Summer. I love her. How can the woman I love be involved in such a horrible thing?And then they took her away and I… I haven’t known how to feel.”
“Talk it out,” I offered, “it can help.”
“I don’t know how,” Luke admitted. “There are too many conflicting feelings.”
“On the drive up, she told me some more about Felix,” I said, taking another sip to rinse that bastard’s name out of my mouth. “He abused her. And that night, she got out of the car and tried to help you. Tried to give you CPR. Honestly, her efforts probably kept you alive long enough for me to find you. And that rat, he locked her in the trunk all night to stop her. She tried to help you, and I know you have a lot of pain about that night; you have scars and the limp that won’t ever go away but… she did try to save you. That’s got to count for something.”
“I remember her,” Luke replied with a sigh. “Not her exactly, but the angel I dreamed of, the one I was so convinced had saved my life… that was her. It’s simultaneously fitting and crazy that she is that angel. But when I think of that night, of missing Ava’s birth, of the pain I endured… there’s just anger.” Luke placed a hand low on his chest, at the base of his ribs. “It never shifts.”
“Then focus on what you feel about Summer here.” I leaned over his arm and gently tapped above his heart. “She wasn’t driving. She tried to save your life, and she didn’t know who you were until that bastard turned up here threatening her. I’m not saying you have to feel a certain way by any sort of time but….” Pausing, I drained my glass and then nudged my shoulder into Luke’s. “We’ve all been through a lot to get here. We all thought we were used and dried-up men set to be single fathers for the rest of our lives, then she turned up and injected this whole new warmth and love into everything. Don’t linger too long on the past when she’s shown us there’s still a life and future to face.”
“What if I can’t?” Luke turned to me, his brow pinched together. “What if, when I look at her, all I can think of is that night?”
“Is that what you saw when she walked in earlier?” I prompted gently.
“…. no, not exactly.” Luke groaned deeply, then raised his glass and drained it in one gulp. “I thought about it, but I also thought about how much I missed her. My mind is going in circles because I love her, but she’s connected to that awful part of my life, and I don’t know where to land.”
As Luke turned to face me, I reached over and grasped his shoulder. “Honestly? It sounds like you think youshouldfeel those things because she was part of that night, and it’s conflicting with the love you actually feel. There’s no easy answer of course but think about it; what are the chances that the angel that tried to save your life, that you’ve thought about constantly, ends up turning back up in our lives when we needed her.” I chuckled softly and squeezed his shoulder. “That sort of thing doesn’t just happen.”
“You think she was always meant to come back to us?”
“That night connects all of us,” I shrugged, “it’s kinda fitting that she found her way back after all these years. And they say there’s no such thing as a Christmas miracle.”
Luke nodded slowly, lifting a hand and rubbing his jaw. “That’s an interesting way to look at it.”
“Just don’t be too hard on her. Or yourself. Felix is the real villain here, and I’d hate to see you both lose a good thing because of him. But at least you settled on one sure thing.”
“What’s that?”
“You love her,” I grinned at him. “And that’s more important than anything else in the past. Focus on that, Luke, and the future might be bright for all of us.”
37
SUMMER
The last day or two had been torn from some sort of nightmare, but through the fog of fear and the terrifying rush of almost being arrested, there was warmth and light. Pouring my heart out to Jax had given me a release I had been denying myself for years, and he had accepted me. Theo had too. Luke was a different story, but hewastalking to me now which was a great improvement.
