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Climbing up to her feet, she brushed herself off. “Sure.” Things felt so awkward between them. “Mordred, I…”
But he was already walking away. With a breath, she followed after him. Eod was trotting alongside the Prince in Iron, obviously knowing what the wordbreakfastmeant. She just plodded along behind them until they reached Mordred’s study. It was set up for two, with food already laid out.
He gestured idly to her chair and took his own. She sat, not knowing what to say. And it seemed, for a long moment, neither did he.
“I must apologize.” His jaw twitched as he reached for his tea, easily grasping the mug in his claws. She was always impressed at how dexterous he was with them. “I wish for you to understand that any sort of…”
“Sex. The word you’re looking for is sex.” She smirked.
“Yes.” He let out a huff that was a weak attempt at a laugh. “I wish for you to understand that you are not required or expected to have sex with me. This is not a condition of your imprisonment. Last night I acted rashly.”
“I didn’t tell you to stop.” Quite the opposite, actually.
“But you are my prisoner.” Grimacing in disgust, he shut his eyes. “I did not make it clear that your safety and well-being are not contingent upon further providing me—”
“Stop.” She reached out and put her hand on his metal wrist. “Just stop.”
Mordred watched her, uncertainty etched on his face, his brow furrowed. But he said nothing.
“I…look. I know you might think that I was just using you—using whatever this is between us to get you to lower your guard. And I mean, I guess, partially—” She cringed. She wasn’t helping her argument a whole lot.
He fought back a smile.
“I’m not good at this shit. I’m sorry.” She let out a sad laugh and scooted her chair a little closer to him, turning to face him. “Mordred, it wasn’t about tricking you. It wasn’t about using you. I care about you. I honestly and truly do.”
“Says the traitor in league with the creature trying to burn down the world.”
“Yeah, Iknow.” She sighed and stared down at her lap. “I know you have no reason to believe me.”
“You are right. I have no reason.” The side of one of those jagged claws tipped her head back up to him. “But I believe you nonetheless.” His gaze softened, just a little, as he lowered his hand back to the table. “Even if it makes me a fool.”
“I wish…I wish I could take it all back. If I had known who he was, I never…” She picked idly at the plate of food in front of her as she talked. It gave her something to fidget with. “I never wanted to hurt you. I never wanted to get involved in any of this mess. And I certainly don’t want to be stuck helping that mammoth asshole of a demon. I just don’t have a choice.”
“Because you believe if you tell me the truth, I will kill you.”
She nodded.
The sigh that left him was so heavy and full of defeat that it summed up her mood just as nicely as his. “Gwendolyn, why do you not trust me? Even after all this? Have I not shown myself to be reasonable?”
“You have. But I also know what kind of a threat Grinn is, and how much you hate him. I know you want to protect Avalon at all costs. Even if it means…” She trailed off. She was already giving him too much.
“Even if it means killing you.”
“I guess, really, I’ve already given you enough reason to kill me anyway.” Folding her arms on the table, she put her forehead down on them. “I hate this shit. And I’m really bad at it.”
“You are.” He chuckled, resting a hand on her head and gently stroking her hair. “You will have to tell me, Gwen. Sooner rather than later, I expect. If what you say is true—if Grinn and Lancelot are raising an army to stop me—you will have to take a side. And I fear there will be no sparing Lancelot this time.”
“I know.” It broke her heart. All of it did. She didn’t want Lancelot to die. She certainly didn’t want Mordred to die.
The jury was out on Grinn.
The path of Mordred’s hand over her hair shouldn’t have been as comforting as it was, considering what it was made from. “For what peace it may give you, I will not seek violence. I shall not hunt them down. If they wish to wage war against me, I will defend myself. But I must give them the ability to choose this path. Otherwise, there would be no shred of my honor left to which I could cling.”
She wanted to blurt it out. Just to tell him everything. And most of all, she wanted to sayI think I love you.But she summarized it all into one thing that she also couldn’t deny. “I’m just so scared.” Scared for herself, sure. But also scared forhim.An army was coming. And she didn’t know if one guy and five knights could take out a horde of elementals. Even if they did have big metal dragons.
“I know. And it is for that reason I do not blame you for your actions.” Mordred paused. “Come here.”
Raising her head, Gwen was confused for a moment. She was sitting next to him. But when he opened his arms to her, she smiled faintly. She moved to sit in his lap, and let herself rest her head against the crook of his neck and his shoulder as he held her.
