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His laughter was natural and I liked that my being here had relaxed him and made him smile. “I’ll give you that.”
“You get some rest. Good night, Irving.”
He took my hand and held it, twining our fingers together for a moment before he tried to let go. I didn’t let him. He needed human contact. He needed someone to remind him that he wasn’t alone. I was lucky enough to get to do that, so I untangled our hands, walked to the other side of the bed and climbed in.
∞∞∞
Hazel pulled the blanket over her legs as she climbed into my bed and rested her head on the spare pillow. Her right hand reached for my left, where she gently linked our fingertips, being careful of my palm.
Why was she in my bed?
“Hazel, what’s going on? Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she said as she hit the remote to turn off the lights. The rope lights along the baseboards slowly came to life, and the LED lights would stay on all night in case I needed to get up. It was one of my favorite accessibility features since turning the lights on meant I’d be awake again for hours.
“Why are you in my bed then?”
“Sometimes we need a friend when we’ve had a bad day, so I’m staying.”
“Because I need a friend?”
“Yep, even if you don’t want to admit it.”
“Admitting it isn’t the problem,” I said, staring at the ceiling. “Counting on someone is. I’ve learned that investing too much of myself into a relationship ends with me being hurt.”
“I can only assume you’re talking about women?”
“Romantically speaking, yes, but in general, everyone. It’s hard being friends with the guy in the wheelchair. What do you do when everyone else wants to go hiking or golfing? I spent a lot of time alone. Probably why I had my master's degree by the time I was twenty-four.” I meant for the comment to be funny, but it just sounded pathetic.
Before saying anything, she flipped her hand around to grab my wrist, allowing me to hold hers without hurting my palm. “I didn’t need you to tell me that you’ve spent a lot of time alone. Sometimes, I feel like you pull a string and pop up a life vest around yourself. Everything and everyone bounces off of you to keep you safe.”
The sound I made was halfway between a gasp and a grunt. “That image is powerful.”
“But true,” she said with a shrug of her shoulder. “It’s a reflex. Something you do whenever someone asks a question you don’t like or tries too hard to break down your walls.”
“Someone like you?” I asked with a wink, turning my head to face her.
“I’ve felt it. I won’t lie. Just now when you called me Nurse Cane, I pictured that airbag vest blowing up. What I want you to know, though, is that I understand. You can come at me with your puffed-up vest, and I can bounce off you, but you may as well know I’m coming back for more.”
I couldn’t help but laugh because what do you even say to that kind of sweetness? “Now that much I knew. Hazel Cane has thenever give in, never give upkind of attitude when she finds herself a charity case.”
“No!” she exclaimed, sitting straight up in bed. Star growled from the corner.
“Star, you’re fine.”
“He might be, but I’m not,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m insulted and hurt. A lot bounces off of me after all my years in social work, but not that.”
I bit my lip and refused to make eye contact. After too many moments of silence, I knew I had to say something. “I think my vest blew up again.”
“Exponentially,” she said with a sigh. “First of all, none of my clients are charity cases. As a social worker, you know that!”
I held up my hands in defeat. “I know, and you know I feel the same way, but that doesn’t mean I can’t think of myself as one, Hazel. That’s my right,” I dug my finger into my chest to make the point. “While I would never call a client that, those words come from my heart when I think about myself. My early life set me on that path, from my injury to my family life to my college experience to my first job—not to mention my friends and girlfriends. They all saw me that way, so it’s hard not to internalize that, no matter how positive I am in my job.”
Her shoulders relaxed a tad, and she let out a long sigh. “You know I can’t argue with how you feel about yourself on the inside, even if it’s not true. No one around that table tonight at the diner thought you were a charity case. You know that, right? They’re your friends because they want to be and for no other reason.”
I tipped my head to the side to hold her gaze. “Why do you think I’ve stayed in Bells Pass? Why do you think I’ve held onto this frustrating job for almost a year when nothing I’ve done has been appreciated or heard? Everyone is so genuine that when I’m lonely, all I have to do is go to the diner or the pub, and there’s someone to talk to. I didn’t have that in the big city where alone felt like alone. You’re different, though, Hazel Cane.”
“Tell me how,” she said, resting back on the pillow to keep me in her sight. “What makes me different? Is it because I’m from the big city and don’t feel genuine like the people here do?”
