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“But it’s really not up to us, is it?” Mom concluded.
I rolled my eyes. I didn’t see why it wasn’t up to me. Surely my feelings for Ava bought me some consideration. I was just as much a part of her life as the ex was. And that realization brought me to the second item on my agenda.
I wanted Ava to stay with me. I didn’t want to push her out into some other tiny crappy apartment. I didn’t like emotions and hadn’t ever felt attached to a woman before, but Ava was different. There was something about her poise and her strength of character that turned me on. Remembering how forward she had been with me in my office, I almost grew hard sitting at my desk.
I wasn’t going to let her walk away, unless she was the one who pushed me. Circumstances be damned, I wanted her in my home, in my bed if at all possible. The night before, drinking wine with her in the living room had been torture. Neither of us let ourselves do what we both wanted to do. No one made the first move, and it remained awkward until Ava cut it short.
Hearing her take a shower, I fought the urge to barge into the bathroom. I knew I couldn’t take advantage of her in her time of need, but damn it was hard. With another twenty-four hours between us and the crisis, I thought this night might be different. If I could convince her to come home with me again and forget about the charity apartment for the moment, I could have my way with her.
I thought about all the things we could do in my home, in my bed, and nearly salivated over the prospect. There had to be a way to offer my house on a more permanent basis. It wasn’t that I wanted to marry the woman, but a few more nights would be welcome. The fact that I had never felt that way about anyone else in my life didn’t escape me. I had to be cautious. Too much and I risked scaring myself away, too little and I would end up feeling deprived. There had to be a happy medium, and I was convinced it started with Ava spending the weekend.
“You said you were going to find her another place,” I told my mother.
“Yes,” she agreed. “There are a few more apartments we have available.”
“Why don’t you have your people deliver her stuff to my place?” I asked. “You can take your time getting the next apartment ready for her.”
“The next apartment is already ready,” Mom said without missing a beat, “but leave it up to Ava. Whatever she wants to do is fine by me.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I said, hanging up the phone. I wasn’t going to get anything over on her. I knew she liked Ava, and the possibility of seeing her around in the future was too good for a mother to pass up.
I had to approach Ava with the idea, but waited until the last minute. She came into my office around three, a little frustrated.
“I can’t get a hold of your mother,” she complained. “I don’t know where I’m going to sleep tonight.”
“You can sleep with me,” I said abruptly, getting out of my chair and crossing the room.
Ava stood there in her purple knee-length dress, her eyes wide, watching me. She worried her hands in front of her, obviously taken aback by my bluntness. I wanted to make the offer seem unimportant, like I had an extra room, why wouldn’t she use it? But the truth of the matter was that I wasn’t offering her the guest room.
A slow smile spread across her face as she absorbed the invitation. “I don’t—”
I snaked one hand behind her back, pulling her close. “I don’t want to scare you.”
“You don’t scare me.”
“Then forget about the next apartment, and come home with me tonight,” I whispered.
“Okay,” she replied, tilting her head up for a kiss.
I didn’t leave her hanging. Touching my lips to hers, I reclaimed my place in her life. I might not be a boyfriend, but I was something. We had a connection, and it was delicious. I wanted to fuck her right there in the office, but I restrained myself. It was growing late, and I would have to take her home soon. We could wait until we arrived at my place.
I didn’t want to be that horn dog who can’t keep his hands off his secretary. But even though I fought to avoid the negative connotations, I couldn’t wait to see her naked. I surprised myself with the strength of my convictions, and yet it all felt right. Ava and I were meant for each other.
Chapter 24
Ava
The next few hours were torture. I had to resume my spot outside Nate’s door, my head full of images of him naked. I knew exactly how he looked. I remembered walking in on him the night before, topless, working the bag. He was beautiful and protective, and he cared about me. It was an intoxicating trifecta that stoked my fire and made my skin tight and uncomfortable.
I longed to run my fingers down his chest, to feel the wealth of muscle beneath his clothing. And I wanted him to touch me too, to resume his patient attention to my breasts and my shoulders.
I wasn’t even concerned about what he might think of my birthmark. Unlike other men, including Marcus, who made me feel self-conscious, Nate made light of it with a kiss. I couldn’t wait to fall into his arms.
Maybe we would take a bath together, or we could just go straight to his bed. I half expected him to bend me over the desk and dirty up the office once again, but he restrained himself. It was beginning to be a habit between us, denying our passionate urges. It was never the right time or the right place. We were continuously having to shelve our animal instincts because of other people. I was tired of it.
I almost walked back into his office to demand his attention. I was sure that if I climbed into his lap, he would be unable to resist. But I made myself hold off, knowing that it was better all around if we waited. We would have all night to explore each other’s bodies; I didn’t need to do it right away.
As soon as the work day was over, however, I was eager to get started. Nate must have felt the same way, because he closed his office at five on the dot. Holding his briefcase, he waited while I put on the away messages. If anyone wanted to get ahold of him between now and the following morning, they were just going to have to wait.
