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Ava was neither. She was a person I connected with, a strong and sensual creature that I wanted to keep by my side. It didn’t occur to me that she might feel like she was putting me out. I was savvy enough to know when someone was using me for my money. It wasn’t like that with Ava.

I smiled when she and my mother started talking about moving her things. I agreed to open up my house when they were ready, but I objected to lending a hand. I told them I was busy that day, that I had a meeting I couldn’t get out of.

Ava looked up at me from her desk, a little bit hurt. I didn’t know what was going through her mind, and I didn’t want to guess. But gazing down at her, I thought I could see some pain in her eyes.

Turning around, I marched back into my office, shutting the door behind me. I couldn’t deal with her feelings on top of my own. All my life I remained carefully aloof, doing my best not to get dragged down into a sticky love story. Yet here I was, deeply embroiled in the very thing I had hoped to avoid.

It was my own fault. I let myself fall for the woman. If I had kept my head clear, and kept my heart out of it, I wouldn’t be in this mess. I could just watch her walk away and think nothing of it. But I took a chance and got comfortable. It was going to be my undoing, I was sure.

Ava wanted to move out as soon as possible. That was fine by me. I didn’t think I could go to bed with her that night knowing that she would be vacating the home. I wanted to invite her to stay, to ask her why she thought she had to leave, but I couldn’t find the words. My heart had been sure that she was the one, but apparently it was wrong. There was no way to reconstruct the good times after that. I needed to be alone to lick my wounds.

I drove Ava home that night because her car was at my place. Mariah met us at the front gate, and I let both women inside. I excused myself to go to my home office, pretending to have work to do. I actually did get a few things done. I answered some emails and took a call from some distributors in France.

By the time I was done, they were gone. Ava’s car disappeared from my driveway, and her things vanished from my room. I wandered through the house, imagining her in the kitchen and in the living room. The closet in the guest room was still full of her dresses, and there were some other things remaining. I lingered with them, imagining Ava paging through the closet trying to figure out what to wear. I was going to drive myself crazy if I continued on in that fashion.

Texting Peter, I demanded that he meet me for a drink. It was stupid. I felt like I had been dumped. That wasn’t at all what happened. Though we didn’t talk about it, and I couldn’t be sure. Being in a relationship was difficult, if we even were in a relationship. We hadn’t even talked about that. I was out of my depth, wrapped up in my own delusions. If I thought I could just walk into domestic bliss, apparently I was mistaken.

Peter was a champ. He hadn’t left the office yet, but agreed to meet me downtown. I staked out a spot at the bar and waited for him to join me. He didn’t disappoint, swinging by after only a few minutes.

“What’s up?” he asked, holding a hand out for the bartender.

The man walked down, providing Peter with a napkin. “What’ll it be?”

“Scotch on the rocks.”

The employee poured a glass and handed it over, accepting Peter’s twenty. Making change, he walked away to provide for the next customer, leaving Peter and me alone. I finished the last of my own drink, bummed beyond my ability to conceal it.

“Ava moved out.”

“I didn’t realize she had moved in,” Peter said.

“We’ve been staying together,” I informed him.

“You kept it secret,” Peter marveled. “Well done.”

“Except it’s over now,” I said. “My mom got her a new apartment.”

“Wait, your mom got her an apartment?” Peter asked, confused.

“It’s a long story,” I sighed. “She’s got some trouble in her past.”

“Oh.” He quieted down, understanding. He had been around enough to know what my mom’s side hustle was. That meant there was an ex-boyfriend in the picture, and that the breakup hadn’t been clean. “Is she going to be okay?”

“I think so,” I answered, feeling bad that I hadn’t considered Ava’s safety myself. Of course, she was going to another one of the nonprofit’s apartments. This one had a doorman, and a few other safety features, according to my mom.

“Have you told her how you feel?” Peter asked.

I looked at him like he grew two heads. “No.”

“You might want to consider using words instead of actions.” He pumped his fist, making a lewd gesture.

I gave him a playful shove. It was good to talk, good to have another perspective. We shot the shit for about an hour before Peter had to go. By that time, I was a good three or four drinks in, and feeling comfortable. He tapped me on the shoulder.

“See you in the morning,” he rasped, putting down his empty glass.

I stayed for another hour, until I was too drunk to drive home and had to text one of my staff members to come get me. He drove me home and caught a ride back to wherever he lived. It was times like these I was grateful for my fortune.

Chapter 26

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