AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I needed to keep myself together and be the person I forced myself to be here. Someone who puts their career above all else. Someone who kept their feelings at work in a box. Sure, it would catch up to me now and then, and I’d spend a day eating ice cream, crying, and watching TV. But it had afforded me success.
The pang in my heart confused me. I didn’t want to, but I needed to tell Parker that we had to stop our plans and that our quasi-friendship was now a bad idea.
My thoughts flashed to Richard and Erik. There was nothing wrong with my relationship with Richard. It was uncomplicated. Albeit a bit boring from time to time. But sometimes, boring was good. Stability was good.
On the other hand, everything was wrong with my relationship with Erik. It had broken me completely to lose him once, and it took me years to rebuild myself. I couldn’t get close to that heartache again.
I found a spot at The Boathouse that was furthest from the door. An empty booth in the back corner. I ordered some mozzarella sticks and a margarita while I waited. My phone lit up on the table.
Parker:I don’t see you anywhere. Please tell me you came.
Me:Back right. Like alllll the way in the back.
“Are you trying to hide from me?” Parker slid in on the opposite side of the worn-down booth.
“I want to hide from the world,” I rested my forehead on the table.
“That bad, huh?”
The waitress dropped off what I ordered and took Parker’s order. I hovered my head above the table and gave him an annoyed look. He reached across and set his hand on my forearm, caressing me with his thumb. The tension in my body argued whether it was making me feel better or worse to feel his hand on me.
“Blake, look at me.”
“I don’t want to,” I said. “If I look at you, it means that this is happening, and we have a big problem. It means that you’re here for the same project I am on and that we can’t do whatever this is.”
I was rambling. Finally, the waterfall of tears that had been restrained all day fell. There was a cathartic feeling of relief in letting go and the tears soaking my cheeks. Even if it was in front of Parker.
“Yeah, I was worried you’d say that.”
“It means that my day has been a total disaster. It means that I cried at work for the first time in my life. I felt like a total wreck.”
He continued rubbing my arm with his thumb. I raised my head again to meet his eyes. Pain flashed across them as he noted the embarrassing number of streaks being carved on my foundation.
“Please don’t cry, princess. Please. It’s breaking my heart to see you like this.”
It was inappropriate to cry in front of him. To let him call me princess, even if it had started as a way of mocking me at the market. All of this was wrong.
“I don’t know what’s happening to me,” I let out a quiet sob and an embarrassed chuckle. “I don’t cry. I never cry!”
Parker rushed to my side and pulled me into his chest. I didn’t fight him and quietly sobbed against his shirt, scrunching it under my fingertips as I held onto him. He ran his fingers down my hair in silence for a few minutes.
“Parker, we cannot do this.”
“Yes, we can,” he spoke softly into my ear. “The last three days with you have been the most fun I’ve had in a long time, Blake. I can’t just let that go.”
“We have to. Parker, my job is my life. I can’t risk that.”
“And I’d never ask you to. Look, there’s no reason why we can’t hang out. It’s not against the rules. It’s not in the contract. I would know; I read all of it. No one has to know that we’re friends if that makes you more comfortable. I’d go on a limb and say that Nathaniel won’t tell.”
I pulled back from him and stared. I wasn’t sure I could do this.
“We first met while at the gym. I’d venture to say that we became…friends…before ‘meeting’ today. There’s no reason why friends can’t hang out outside of work.”
“I don’t –”
“I promise this won’t jeopardize your job. Remember, we’re trying to enjoy life more, and I know you had fun this weekend. What we do in our personal time shouldn’t matter.”
“Friends don’t kiss in the kitchen while making gumbo. Friends don’t tuck hair strands behind ears while staring into my eyes.”
