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Erik scampered off so fast that I thought he would pull a muscle. As I walked home, he texted that we were having a night in for our date at the apartment he rented. Against my better judgment, I found myself looking forward to it.
At home, Nathaniel and Gabby were on the couch. Gabby was passed out on his lap, and he motioned for me to stay quiet as I walked in. I hadn’t left the office too late, but it was definitely past dinner time.
“She’s been having some long days,” I whispered. “I’ve heard her leave at four in the morning sometimes.”
“Yeah,” he said, wiggling out of her grasp and gently laying her on a pillow. “She’s hiring more help, especially for morning prep. Jeremy is great, but he’s only one person. How’s the campaign looking?”
He sat on the stools by the island. His eyes were tired but calm.
“Good. On time and on budget. Richard went over the fund distribution numbers with the team today. Amelia must’ve asked a million questions, but she seemed pleased.”
“That’s good. I haven’t heard otherwise from her, and Parker says that Amelia is super impressed with you so far.”
“You talk to Parker about me?” I panicked a little bit.
Second to Gabby, Nathaniel was the person who knew me the best. He had seen every side of me and understood me better than most. The idea of him talking to Parker about me made me nervous.
“Honesty moment? You are a recurrent topic of conversation when we go out for drinks. Amongst other things.”
“What have you told him about me?”
“Nothing that you haven’t told him yourself, kiddo. We talk, we don’t gossip. Speaking of…how are you handling your love triangle? I guess it’s more of a quadrangle of sorts. Maybe a square?”
I chuckled and let out an uncomfortable sigh. I walked him through what happened with the muffins earlier, then ran him through what Richard did. He shook his head.
“That’s…awkward…even for Richie.”
Last, I got to the part where Erik demanded I go on a date with him.
“Did you say yes?”
I went quiet for a minute while heating up my dinner. “After a little bit of back and forth, yeah.”
“I didn’t peg you for the kind of girl that likes to be bossed around, but I guess powerful women want someone who can tame them for the night.”
“Disgusting!” I threw my dish towel at his head. “He just wants a night to prove that we deserve to give us another chance.”
“Do you want to give him one?”
“I don’t know what I want,” I defeatedly sat beside him. “If you haven't noticed, I’ve been kind of flying by the seat of my pants the last few weeks. I have nothing to lose by going on one date, I think. At one point, I thought I wanted to marry him, so what’s the harm of one night? He’s leaving anyway.”
My feelings were all over the place. It felt like my heart was on a never-ending rollercoaster of emotions.
Parker was a temporary surge of life. He had made me feel more alive in the last weeks than I had in a long time. My sense of adventure and exploration was awoken again, and my weekends had been filled with laughter. But it was temporary. Once he was gone, I would have to adjust to eliciting these feelings on my own.
Erik was comfortable and familiar. But aside from the heartwarming happy memories, he brought a history of pain. We had so much history that it was hard to ignore. Yet, I struggled to resist imagining a future where we could be together again like we always thought we would be.
Richard was here, and he was staying. He had a bright future ahead of him and was actively working towards a career he loved. His intelligence was impressive, and he was predictable. He kept me calm. It didn’t matter that our dates needed to be injected with a bit of creativity. That is easily remedied.
“Honesty moment?” I asked Nathaniel for his thoughts. He was staring at me, unsure of what to say.
“You’re getting a little…daring, kid. Be careful. I really don’t want to see you get hurt again.”
“I’ll be okay. I can take care of myself.”
“I can beat up one guy, but if three hurt you, it’s a little much. And I like Parker. I don’t want to have to punch him.”
“No one is going to hurt me,” I laughed. “But I appreciate it.”
