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Erik held the spot for some of the best moments of my life, but he also held the spot for some of the worst. Even though I couldn’t forget about the things he said that night, we might be able to learn from them.
Maybe having Erik around was bringing up old feelings that I had resigned myself to ignoring. Erik was comfortable and reminded me of home. Just because he was a part of my past didn’t mean he couldn’t be a part of my future. There was the option that Mason had been right from the start, and we were meant to find each other again.
I lost control of my thoughts, trying to rein them back.
Richard would be the safe choice. He had a promising future at Capital Media, came from a normal family, and was a good person. A nice guy. He had plans to grow. We always had a nice time together, and now that I had seen a glimpse of a different side of him, I saw what we could maybe be one day. Richard would be the easy choice.
My skin grew hot, and my eyes started tearing up. I had lost track of what Gabby was saying. My brain wasn’t processing her words anymore.
She rambled on about Parker. He certainly had turned my life upside down. I had started to crave his food when he wasn’t around. I know I would miss the consistent happy hour drinks. The fun we had every weekend breathed new life into me.
I liked Parker. I liked him a lot more than I should or expected.
But he was leaving in three weeks.
“Blake?” Nathaniel’s voice cut through the mumbling. “Hey, hey, come back to us.”
Gabby had stopped talking. She had probably stopped a while ago, but I was lost in my head. They brought my attention back to them.
“I’m so sorry,” Gabby apologized. “I didn’t realize I was inducing a panic attack in you. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I managed to catch my breath again. Nathaniel handed me a glass of water. “It’s a lot of information. A lot of feelings.”
“I have to leave, Gabs,” Nathaniel looked at her. “Make sure she eats and stays seated for the next ten minutes.”
He leaned closer to her and whispered something into her ear. She nodded along with him, and concern was splattered on her face.
“We tried to talk them out of it,” Gabby shrugged. She wasn’t great about whispering.
“Let’s make sure we watch for the signs and get her out of there if we need to.”
I had no idea what they were talking about. At the moment, I didn’t care.
“You know what,” Gabby brought my attention back to her. “Let’s not worry about it right now. Let’s spend the morning together and enjoy the new things you can see.”
I nodded. She smiled at me. Her smile hid concern.
Gabby made me a cup of coffee, and we stared at the sky. It was my least favorite day of the year, but at least today, I could look at the bright blue sky and feel some semblance of joy.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Friday afternoon.
Twenty-two days left.
Nathaniel impatiently tapped his foot while we waited for Gabby to finish getting ready. I was ready but didn’t want to go anywhere, especially after this morning. They insisted on going for drinks at The Boathouse, but I didn’t feel the need to celebrate other than just going outside and enjoying the color of the sky some more.
I hated my birthday, so I didn’t see the point.
My birthday had a carefully crafted itinerary, a yearly ritual of sorts. Every year, after taking the day off, I binged movies and hid from the world all day. I would finish my day with more bad romance movies and a pizza topped with olives and basil. Sometimes, the only person I saw all day was the pizza delivery guy.
If I wasn’t at work, no one could congratulate me, no one could bring me a cake. If I didn’t answer the phone, no one could speak to me. I always ignored all texts and phone calls until the next day. I never went out to celebrate and had not had a party since I was thirteen. That was the last year I celebrated my birthday.
My thirteenth birthday was one of the worst days of my life.
~
Hushed arguing came from inside the house as everyone gathered around me to start opening presents. They must have thought that no one could hear their fight.
