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“Blake, I –”
“No, Richard. No. I asked to keep our relationship under wraps, especially as we work on this project, and you blatantly disregarded me. We’re not together in any official capacity, even in private. You made clear that you wanted the option to date other people when we started seeing each other, and I made it clear in our rules that something like this was completely inappropriate!”
“The rules you set were stupid, Blake. I was wrong to ask that of you, not realizing how incredible you are and how much I like you. I see how Erik looks at you. I hear how he talks about you. I’m not stupid. I can see the regret in his eyes for letting you walk away from him. It made me realize that I don’t like the thought of you with anyone else. I can’t let anyone else have you. And I won't make the same mistake Erik made!”
“Excuse me? I’m not property to be had! You can’t even respect one of my basic boundaries!”
“You’re seeing other people, aren’t you?”
Hiding things had gotten me into this mess. I wasn’t going to let it drag me even further in.
“You know what? Yes, I am! Like we agreed we were allowed to do. But that’s completely irrelevant. What you did was completely unacceptable, and you knew it wouldn’t be welcome.”
“I’m sorry, Blake. But what I said was true. I like you so much, and I think we could have something special. I…acknowledge…it wasn’t the best way to go about it, but you had been ignoring me.”
“I can’t right now. I don’t know, Richard. We need to put a pin in this. I need some time away from you.”
“Okay, okay,” his eyes were shameful but angry. “I’m sorry. I can wait for you. Erik made the mistake of letting you go once. I’m sure he’ll do it again, and we’ll have all the time in the world to figure us out after he’s gone.”
I turned around and left him standing in the break area. There would be no us after this. He had crossed a line I was sure we could not come back from. His disregard for the most basic ask was telling. If he ignored these boundaries, what else would he ignore later on?
If, by some cruel joke of the universe, the brief happiness I felt with him was the cause for the blue, I would be happy with just seeing the sky for the rest of my life.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Friday night.
Eight days left.
I burrowed myself into the blue blanket, shielding my body from the fan. I was battered. Exhausted. Absolutely done with the week. My brain and body had been trampled by elephants, run over by a train, and tossed off the side of a mountain. I would eventually recover, but I needed this to be over.
“What a hell of a week.”
“Are you doing okay though?” Gabby walked over with the pizza that had just been dropped off at our door.
“No,” I laughed, somewhat maniacally.
“I’ll drink to that.”
We tapped our plastic cups filled to the brim with wine.
Gabby didn’t force me to talk about anything. She sat beside me and played my favorite movie until I was ready. I wanted to keep it all in, but I needed answers to at least one question. My mind was plagued with all sorts of thoughts.
Erik would be out of the picture of my personal life for good. Once next Sunday rolled around, he would be on a flight back to California. I would keep the memories of the laughter, the love, and the hurt forever. They were a part of who I was, but that’s all I wanted from him.
Parker would be on a flight back to Texas next Saturday morning. Just as quickly and abruptly as he entered my life, he would exit. I was bracing myself to say goodbye to any more colors and to say goodbye to him. I braced myself for a kind of heartbreak I didn’t understand was possible.
Then, there was Richard.
“Honesty moment. Can I ask you something?” I turned to Gabby.
“No, I’m not an alien. Yes, you can have the leftover muffins in the fridge.”
“Debatable. Thank you. But that’s not it,” I hesitated on my phrasing, but I needed to be straight to the point. “The only people in this world you hate are people who hurt animals and the guy that left the café without paying that one time. Why do you hate Richard so much?”
“You’re just angry at him, Blake. I don’t want to ruin your image of him or whatever you guys have.”
“We won’t have anything anymore. Even after Parker and Erik leave, I can’t build a life with him.”
