AllFreeNovel
Share Us
She snuggles into myshoulder, sleepingtightly, looking like a princess. But I can’t sleep. I didn’t sleep all night. I tried my best, but couldn't. On top of my mind, being swarmed with her questions about her dad leaving, I had one more related to her only. I am damn scared to admit it to myself, let alone anyone else.
I get up, sneaking through the room, but her voice startles me as I reach the door.
“I want coffee too, asshole,” she laughs.
“Sure thing, Ljubavi.” I say, leaving.
“What did you say to me last night?” she yells from the bedroom.
“That you are boring and annoying.” I yell back, laughing.
“Wow, what a gentleman.”
“For you? Always.”
Her laughter echoes through the apartment, as I stop dead in my tracks, staring at the laptop. I expected an answer, but I didn’t expect one so soon. Fuck.
“Ronan, you might want to get up now.”
“Why, what happened?” she rushes through the bedroom door.
“You have an e-mail. It’s from your dad.”
17
Teardrops - Bring me the Horizon
Ronan
I stare at the red number one on a tiny letter icon on Noah’s laptop screen. With a shaky hand I draw the white arrow to it. What do I do now? I have such a bad feeling about this. I feel like my life is about to do a big goddamn one hundred eighty degree flip. My mind is cloudy, my hands are clammy and shaking. The reply came way sooner than I expected it to.
“Do you want me to erase it?” Noah says, cupping my cheek.
“I don’t think so. No.”
“Do you want me to read it first?” he asks, his face painted in concern.
I look into his eyes, but I am not sure what to say. I am not sure what to do. I don’t feel so ready for answers now that I actually get to know them.
“I want to make coffee.” I deadpan, “I am going to make us both some coffee, and you can read it out to me.”
He reaches for the laptop, but I close it, and slide it to him instead. I jump to my feet, circling the table. I smile, kissing Noah on the nose. I need to regroup a bit.
“I will take a shower first, actually. It might help me, you know…confidence boost.”
“I’ll be right here, waiting. Take your time. This is a big thing for you.”
I turn on my heel and stride right for the bathroom. Closing the door behind me, I strip quickly and turn the water on. It’s so hot it might actually boil my skin off, but I need it this way. The urge to make food my buffer and ease the pain by drowning myself in it is blooming inside my tummy.
I need to feel alive before I potentially get killed by my father’s hate and disgust. I slide down the tiles and let the fear of rejection consume me. I stop crying once the water finally runs cold, not knowing how long I was actually sitting on the shower floor. Noah never came knocking on the door, and I am truly grateful for it. I need this little time to myself, to prepare, to mourn the five year old child in me.
Wrapping myself in fluffy, pink towel, I leave the bathroom, as steam gives me a foggy, movie effect. Noah chuckles as I near him.
“Wow, a diva in my own, private space? I must be the luckiest guy on Earth!”
“You sure are!” I say, hiding my puffy eyes and getting dressed.
“I am really enjoying this,” he says, ogling me.
