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I stand still, my legs locked in place right in front of the entrance. My heart is weeping in my chest, my breath is short. Ronan looks at me with fear and devastation in her eyes, and once I catch them, I don’t dare break the contact.
Look at me. See what’s inside me.Look at what you’ve done.
My anger boils inside of my gut, wanting to rip through, wanting to break and destroy. Still holding my eyes, she walks up to me, setting her palms on my hips. My body jerks and cringes at the touch, but I keep it in. Ronan looks at me, tilting her chin up, unable to control its tremble. She slowly runs her hands upwards and around my waist, pulling me into a hug. Her forehead hits my chest, and I can’t help the groan that leaves my mouth. She squeezes me tighter with every passing second, but my hands don’t move from their first position.
I don’t wrap my arms around her. I can’t.
For a while, Ronan cries into my chest as I crack my fingers at my sides. I hate how my heart, even after being broken, wants to be there for her. My brain doesn’t. My brain wants me to leave. It wants me to grieve, to soak it all in.
I step away from her, which makes her hands unlock at my back. I lift my fingers up to her face, swiping my thumb under her eye, collecting the tears. Bringing it back to my lips, I place it on my tongue. Saltiness coats my taste buds as she looks at me. I take it out, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath. My lungs feel like they are on fire, but I would take that over having my heart broken any day.
“Noah…” she whispers sadly, reaching for my hand, but I gently catch her wrist, pushing it back down.
I close in that one-step distance between us, and with my free hand grab her cheek. I hum, melting our lips together. I kiss her ravenously, like she is the last drop of water, like she is the last grain of sugar, like she didn’t lie.
I kiss her, losing myself inside her lips. Brushing them slowly with mine, nibbling and biting,remembering. She opens up for me, and I let my tongue brush against hers, taste of alcohol still lingering on it. My hands squeeze harder, tangling in her hair and rubbing on her wrist. I am drowning myself in the feel of her body close to mine this one last time.
My fingers press into her tattoo, trying to rub it raw, trying to erase the word that binds us.
Ljubavi.
What a silly word. What does it even mean anymore!?
She doesn’t register what I’m doing, but just pushes her curves into my body more and more, as breathy sounds leave her throat. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel it too. It’s always there between us, this current, this pull. My dick twitches in my jeans as she fumbles with the buttons, her knuckles rubbing against it.
She pushes my pants down, trying to sink to her knees in front of me, but I push my fingers into her jaw, keeping her in place. My kiss turns rough and starved, my body overcome with the need to feel her one last time, to be owned by her one last time.
Letting go of her hand and face, I slowly drop to my knees, leaving feather-light kisses all the way down, moving her shirt away to touch her bare skin. I kiss her stomach, nuzzling my face into it, reveling in the soft feel of it. She moans, running her fingers through my hair, but I’m not doing this for her. I’m doing this for me. For my own selfish reasons.
I peel her panties and trousers down, after taking her feet out of her Doc’s. She steps out of them, swaying slightly. I pull her down, setting her ass on the hardwood floor. Her legs fall open for me and I take it as an invitation to crawl over her and lean the head of my cock against her soaking wet pussy.
My heart constricts in my chest, happy at the thought of everything being just the way it should be. After all, this is what we do best, this is how we came to be, but my heart couldn’t be more wrong.
She hikes her hips up, impaling herself on me, and a shudder runs down my spine. There is nothing in this world that will top the feeling of her being around me.
I take her thigh, lifting it up so I have a better range of motion. We rock into each other in unison, our bodies loving the other one, sweet, shaky breaths echo around the room.
I need to feel more.
Without a word said I lift her blouse up and over her head, never stopping the movements of my hips. I grind myself on her clit, the pulsing sensation driving me insane. Yanking her bra down, her breasts spill over it. I grab one pierced nipple into my mouth, biting the hardened peak.
‘I did them so I could feel closer to you’,a memory runs through my head. How close were you actually?
I move my lips to the other as she locks her legs around my waist, speeding up our movements. I feel her walls tighten and I know she is there, and so am I. We are a sweaty, writhing mess on the floor. She makes a fist at the back of my head, pulling at my hair as she screams out, taken over by the bliss of her orgasm. I look into her, trembling with ecstasy, her release triggering my own.
Opening my eyes, I look at her face, roaming over it. Engraving her features in my memory.
“I love you, Rory,” I rasp, my voice breaking on the last word, but she doesn’t notice.
“I love you.”
I sit back on my knees, slowly pulling out of her. My come trickles out of her, coating her pussy, and I do what every sane man would. The same thing I did the first night we shared together. I push it all right back in. She giggles at my gesture and stands up, heading for the bathroom.
“I’ll be right back!” she says.But I won’t.
Once I hear the bathroom door click shut, I get up from the floor, pulling my pants up. I close the buttons, my dick still wet with her arousal. My head is spinning again, the hurt reinforced by what just happened with her. I knew it was a possibility, but fuck, I wasn’t ready for it.
Did she notice I still had all of my clothes on? Did she notice that was the only thing I said after a few hours of complete and utter silence? Did she notice what name I used for her?
